“But to do you justice,� said the Colonel, “it seems that you hit the bull’s-eye.�
As he spoke Archer came in bearing a dish which he placed before his master. He had already served the others with the earlier courses, but he carried this one with the pomp of one bringing in the boar’s head at Christmas. It consisted of a plain boiled cabbage.
“I was challenged to do something,� went on Hood, “which my friend here declared to be impossible. In fact, any sane man would have declared it to be impossible. But I did it for all that. Only my friend, in the heat of rejecting and ridiculing the notion, made use of a hasty expression. I might almost say he made a rash vow.�
“My exact words were,� said Colonel Crane solemnly: “‘If you can do that, I’ll eat my hat.’�
He leaned forward thoughtfully and began to eat it. Then he resumed in the same reflective way:
“You see, all rash vows are verbal or nothing. There might be a debate about the logical and literal way in which my friend Hood fulfilled his rash vow. But I put it to myself in the same pedantic sort of way. It wasn’t possible to eat any hat that I wore. But it might be possible to wear a hat that I could eat. Articles of dress could hardly be used for diet; but articles of diet could really be used for dress. It seemed to me that I might fairly be said to have made it my hat, if I wore it systematically as a hat and had no other, putting up with all the disadvantages. Making a blasted fool of myself was the fair price to be paid for the vow or wager; for one ought always to lose something on a wager.�
And he rose from the table with a gesture of apology.
The girl stood up. “I think it’s perfectly splendid,� she said. “It’s as wild as one of those stories about looking for the Holy Grail.�
The lawyer also had risen, rather abruptly, and stood stroking his long chin with his thumb and looking at his old friend under bent brows in a rather reflective manner.
“Well, you’ve subpœna’d me as a witness all right,� he said, “and now, with the permission of the court, I’ll leave the witness-box. I’m afraid I must be going. I’ve got important business at home. Good-bye, Miss Smith.�