The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine,

But I don’t care where the water goes if it doesn’t get into the wine.’

“But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod,

Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod,

And you can’t get wine at a P.S.A. or chapel or Eisteddfod;

For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God,

And water is on the Bishop’s board and the Higher Thinker’s shrine,

But I don’t care where the water goes if it doesn’t get into the wine.”

“Lord Ivywood’s favorite song,” concluded Mr. Patrick Dalroy, drinking. “Sing us a song yourself.”

Rather to the surprise of the two humourists, the old gentleman actually began in a quavering voice to chant,