Wine, Water, and Song

by G. K. Chesterton

Like a sailor in a slum,

You will find me drinking beer like a Bavarian.

You will find me drinking gin

In the lowest kind of inn,

Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.

So I cleared the inn of wine,

And I tried to climb the sign,

And I tried to hail the constable as “Marion.”

But he said I couldn't speak,