I have already hinted that the learned Theban's Latin is somewhat obscure, and I will own that the beginning of his definition rather puzzled me:--"Capitanus Portingalensis est homo pedibus sex----"
It was very easy to construe the first four words, like a boy at school: Capitanus Portingalensis, a Portugal captain; est homo, is a man. That was all very natural; but when it came to pedibus sex, with six feet, I was very much astonished, till I discovered that the professor meant thus elegantly to express that he was six feet high.
But before I proceed with the particular account, it may be necessary to say a word or two upon the general history and qualifications of the Portingal captains of that day. Portugal, as has been observed, was then the cradle of adventurous merchantmen; that is to say, of men who gained an honest livelihood by buying and selling, fetching and carrying, lying and pilfering, thieving wholesale and retail, swearing a great deal, and committing a little manslaughter when it was necessary. With these qualifications, it may well be supposed that the Portingal captains were known and esteemed in every quarter of the globe except America; and as they were daring, hardy, boasting fellows, who possessed withal a certain insinuating manner of giving little presents of oranges, lemons, nutmegs, cinnamon, &c. to the good dames of the houses where they were well received, as well as of rendering every sort of unscrupulous service to the male part of the establishment, it may equally well be supposed that some few people shut them out of their houses, and called them 'thievish vagabonds,' while a great many took them in, and thought them 'nice, good-humoured gentlemen.'
Freeholders of the ocean, their own country bound them by no very strict laws; and if they broke the laws of any other, they took to their ship, which was generally near, and, like the Greenwich pensioner, 'went to sea again.' Speaking a jargon of all languages, accommodating themselves to all customs, cheating and pilfering from all nations, and caring not one straw more for one country than another, they furnished the epitome, the beau-ideal of true citizens of the world.
The specimen of this dignified race who occupied a seat between mine host and hostess was, as we have seen, six feet high, and what sailors would term broad over the beam. His neck was rather of the longest, and at the end of it was perched a mighty small head, whose front was ornamented with a large nose, two little, dark, twinkling eyes under a pair of heavy black brows, and a mouth of quite sufficient size to serve a moderate-minded pair. Any one who has heard of a red Indian may form some idea of his complexion, which would remind one of a black sheep marked with red ochre; and from this rich soil sprang forth and flourished a long thin pair of mustachios, something after the Tartar mode. His dress was more tolerable than his face, consisting of a dark-brown doublet slashed with light green, much resembling a garden full of cabbage stalks, with trunks and hosen to correspond; while in his belt appeared a goodly assortment of implements for cutting and maiming, too numerous to be recited; and between his legs, as he sat and rocked himself on his chair, he held his long sword, with the point of which he ever and anon raked fresh ashes round a couple of eggs that were roasting on the hearth.
Smiling on this jewel of a captain sat our landlady in the next chair, a great deal too pretty to mind the affairs of her house, and a great deal too fine to be very good. Now, the captain was a dashing man, and though he did not look tender, he looked tender things; and besides, he was an old friend of the house, and had brought mine hostess many a little sentimental present from parts beyond the sea; so that she found herself justified in flirting with so amiable a companion by smiles and glances, while her rotund husband poured forth his ale-inspired tale.
On the right hand of the hostess stood the cook, skewering up a fine breast of house-lamb, destined for the rere-supper of a stout old English clothier, Jekin Groby by name, who, placed in the other seat of honour opposite mine host, leaned himself back in a delicious state of drowsiness between sleeping and waking, just hearing the buzzing of the landlord's story, with only sufficient apprehension left to catch every now and then "the ghost, the ghost," and to combine that idea with strange, misty phantasies in his sleep-embarrassed brain. The sixth person was the turnspit-dog, who, freed from his Ixionian task, sat on his rump facing his master, on whose countenance he gazed with most sagacious eyes, seeming much more attentive to the tale than any one else but the cook.
As I have said, Sir Osborne threw open the door somewhat suddenly, startling all within. Every one thought it was the ghost. The landlord became motionless; the lady screamed, the cook ran the skewer into her hand; the turnspit-dog barked; Jekin Groby knocked his head against the chimney; and the Portingal captain ran one of the eggs through the body with the point of his sword.
It has been said that a good countenance is a letter of recommendation, and to the taste of mine hostess it was the best that could be given. Thus, after she had finished her scream, and had time to regard the physiognomy of the ghost who threw open the kitchen-door, she liked it so much better than that of the Portingal captain, that she got up with her very best courtesy; drew a settle to the fire next to herself; bade the turnspit hold his tongue; and ordered Tim Chamberlain, who followed hard upon Sir Osborne's footsteps, to prepare for his worship the tapestry-chamber.
"I seem to have scared you all," said Sir Osborne, somewhat astonished at the confusion which his entrance had caused. "What is the matter?"