Often--often I asked myself, when was this to end, or would it ever end? Put in there by two men, to one of whom my freedom might be dangerous, and to the other of whom anything which afflicted me would be delightful, how could I tell that I might not be kept there for years. In the state of the country, at that time, no investigation was ever likely to take place, no one would, in all probability, hear of my imprisonment, nobody would strive to obtain my release. Monsieur de Villardin, doubtless, by this time, thought me dead, and I might feel perfectly sure that neither Gaspard de Belleville nor any of his household would suffer my situation to be known, so long as they could by any means conceal it. Such thoughts formed the only occupation for my mind, while I could neither find nor devise any other exercise for my limbs than that which could be obtained by traversing in every different direction a chamber of ten feet square. It is true I could occasionally hear the steps and voices of people without, passing along the ramparts; but the little 'window was so high that I could not amuse myself by the view which it might otherwise have afforded, and the merry tones of people at large, as the wind brought them to my ear, seemed but a mockery of my solitude and captivity.
At length, a slight change was afforded me. After I had lingered on in this manner for some months, the gaoler fell sick, and his wife brought me the daily loaf and pitcher of water in his place. She was not the most prepossessing person I ever beheld, it is true, but it is scarcely possible to describe the pleasure I felt at even seeing a new face. The joy that I expressed, it seems, melted her heart, and on the second day of her coming she brought me a meat meal, the first that I had tasted since I had entered the prison. Anything that was in the least degree new was, of course, delightful; but this mark of her kindness induced me to ask for more, and, showing her that it was perfectly impossible, from the size of the aperture, that I could escape by the window if I were permitted to reach it, I begged hard that she would let me have a chair, or a stool, or a table, in order to amuse myself by looking out. To this she consented, telling me, however, that she was sure her husband would take it away again, as soon as ever he was well enough to resume his official duties. Nevertheless, every day's amusement I looked upon as something gained; and in a few minutes after, she brought me a large settle, by means of which I instantly climbed up to the window, and gazed out.
No words can express the delight which the first sight of the world without afforded me; and yet, strange and absurd as it may seem, this delight was occasioned by a prospect which did not extend to the space of two hundred yards in any direction. Underneath me were the ramparts, and beyond them again, in a straight line, were some other parts of the fortifications, which bounded my view in that direction: to the left was a square tower, projecting, I believe, from the body of the prison; and to the right, at the distance of about a hundred and fifty yards, were some sheds and houses which had encroached upon the defences of the place. But it was all something new,--something different from the black solitude of the dungeon,--something that I had not seen for months; and, consequently, it was all delightful. There was nobody to be seen upon the ramparts at the time I first looked out; but there was a man washing his face at a window of the house I have mentioned, and a cat creeping along with stealthy pace from tile to tile of the roof, in order to catch a sparrow that was perched upon the ridge; and it would seem childish and frivolous thus to dwell upon the pleasure with which I watched both of these very ordinary occurrences, did it not give some idea, though a very faint one, of the dull horror of that situation, compared to which such sights were the most enchanting visions.
Standing on my settle, I remained there for hours, and could almost have wept when the sun went down. With the first ray of morning I was again at my post, and remained there the greater part of that day, which, from what the gaoler's wife told me in regard to his convalescence, was the last that I could count upon for that indulgence. Few people, indeed, passed along the ramparts; but still, every one that did so afforded me new pleasure. At length, towards evening, when I had got down for a few moments in order to rest myself, I caught the sound of several cheerful voices speaking; and, starting up again to my loop-hole, I soon saw four or five gentlemen coming round the angle of the projecting tower. They seemed officers belonging to the garrison; and, as soon as I set eyes upon them, I determined to endeavour to make my situation known to a party, amongst whom, as officers and men of honour, I doubted not that I should find some one to compassionate my situation, and, perhaps, to afford me relief. Such being my resolution, it will be easy to conceive my joy, when, as they approached, I perceived, in the person nearest to the prison, no other than Gourville, whom I had known and acted with in Paris.
"Monsieur de Gourville," I cried, "Monsieur de Gourville; stay a moment,--stay a moment, and listen to me, for God's sake!"
I had forgot that he could not see me as well as I could see him; but, nevertheless, he paused and looked round, exclaiming, "Who called me?"
"It was I; it was Monsieur de Juvigny," I replied, giving myself the name by which he had known me in Paris; "stay, and speak to me for one moment."
"But where are you?" cried Gourville, looking up towards the aperture through which I spoke.
"Here in the prison," replied I; but ere I could add another word, I found myself suddenly grasped by the arm, and thrown down upon the floor of the dungeon, with a degree of violence which hurt me much in the fall, though my head luckily lighted on the straw which composed my bed. The first object on which my eyes lighted after my compelled descent, was the grim and unshaved face of the gaoler, which, however, showed me, without further explanation, that my voice had been overheard by his jealous and watchful ear. He deigned no observation, but a few curses pretty equally divided between myself and his wife; and, snatching up the settle, he turned away from the dungeon and locked the door.