"It matters not, my good friend," I replied; "I should lose my own esteem for ever--my heart would have no strength to struggle with the world, if I let this man set his foot upon it again."
The clergyman said nothing more to change my purpose, for he saw that it was unchangeable; but he answered, "At all events, then, Henry, take what little gold I have. I need it not, my boy; and I always have the means of support. You will not mind taking it from me."
"I will not take it all," I replied, kissing his hand; "but, to show you how willingly I can bend my pride to depend upon one that loves me, I will take twenty gold crowns from you, and that shall be the fortune with which I go forth into the world. I have, indeed, nearly treble that sum in my own chamber; but that belongs to a man from whom I will take nothing, so that you shall give it to him to-morrow after I am gone."
"Do you go early, then?" demanded the clergyman, looking anxiously upon me.
"As early as possible," I replied; and he then told me that he would bring the money to my little room.
Thither I now turned my steps, and the good clergyman soon followed. He gave me the sum I had agreed to take from his little store, and pressed upon me more, which I would not accept. He sought also to persuade me that I had every right to keep the money which the baron had allowed me; but on that score my mind was made up, and I would hear no arguments.
A long conversation then ensued, and La Tour added many wise counsels and noble precepts to many which had gone before. I treasured them in my mind; and, if I have not always followed them exactly in the strife of passion and the assault of temptation, at all events, everything that has been good in my conduct or estimable in my character, I owe, first, to the sweet influence of her who so tenderly cultivated my youth, and, next, to the counsels and exhortations of that good man.
It was nearly one o'clock in the morning when he left me, and then I sat down to consider what should be my next step.
What were the baron's habits now, I knew not; but him I was resolved to see no more. All the rest of the family, however, were generally up not long after daybreak; and, if I remained, I knew that there must be a bitter parting both with Louise and with the boys; most likely, an angry parting also with the baron; and, perhaps, the pain of seeing the expression of his childrens' love for me, call down his wrath upon them. I thought of it all, and determined to suffer alone, as far as might be.
I made all my preparations in haste; took with me a few jewels and trinkets, which I inherited from my mother, and those the baroness had given me; packed up the necessary clothes which I intended to carry away; destroyed many a memorial of the place and its inhabitants, which I did not choose to have exposed to the harsh eyes of the baron, or the impure ones of his new wife; and, only preserving some little things in the handwriting of poor Louise, I prepared to take my departure for ever from the dwelling which I had so long inhabited.