"Sam the piper, Sam the piper," he answered, in drunken accents. "And who are you, jolly boys? What do you keep the king's highway for? Are you looking to see if any man has dropped his purse? If so, I cry shares; for by St. Dominic, there's nothing in mine. Now, marry, if a fat priest were to fall in your way, I would rather be his mule afterwards than before."
"Why so, knave?" asked one of the men.
"Marry, because he'd ride lighter, I've a notion," replied Sam.
"Ha, say'st thou so, knave?" cried one of the men, lifting up his hand to strike him; but the other interposed, saying--
"Nay, nay, 'tis Sam the piper. He has a fool's privilege, and means no harm. Besides the man is drunk."
"Come, tell me, knave," exclaimed the other, "whither thou hast been wandering in the wood?"
"Nay, Heaven knows," answered the piper, "wherever wine and destiny led me. I have been asleep half the time; and since I woke, I have been walking about in the cool, to clear my complexion, and get the fumes of Tamworth fair out of my head; for I felt my knees weaker than they ought to be, and a solemn sort of haziness of the wits, just such as the preaching parson at Ashton must have after writing one of his sermons, and his congregation do have after hearing one."
The two soldiers laughed, and the fiercer of the two demanded--
"Did'st thou meet any man in the forest?
"Not till I met your reverences," replied the piper. "I do not know what any man should do here, unless it were to sleep off a tipsy fit, lose his way, or pick up a purse, though the last has grown a rarity since the wars came to an end. In former times men might gather purses like blackberries upon every bush. That was when I was a soldier. But that whorson poke with a pike I got at Barnet crippled my crupper joint for life, and made me walk unsteady, which causes the poor fools to say I am drunk, though all the world knows that I live like an anchorite, eat herbs and roots, when I can get no flesh, and drink pure water, when there's neither wine nor ale to be had. Give you good den, my masters--What's the time o'day?"