When the marriage ceremony commences the young man, accompanied by twelve of his friends and by musicians, sits in front of the girl’s house. The mother of the girl brings out bread and Ghi-cakes on plates, which she places before the bridegroom, round whom she goes three times, caressing him and finally kissing his hand. The bridegroom then sends her back with a present of a few rupees or tolas in the emptied plates. Then, after some time, as the evening draws on, the agent of the father of the boy sends to say that it is time that the ceremony should commence. The mother of the bride then stands in the doorway of her house with a few other platefuls of cakes and bread, and the young man accompanied by his bridesman [“Shunèrr” in Astóri and “Shamaderr” in Gilgiti,] enters the house. At his approach, the girl, who also has her particular friend, the “Shaneróy” in Astóri, and “Shamaderoy” in Gilgiti, rises. The boy is seated at her right, but both in Astór and in Gilgit it is considered indecent for the boy to turn round and look at her. Then a particular friend, the “Dharm-bhai”[49] of the girl’s brother asks her if she consents to the marriage. In receiving, or imagining, an affirmative, he turns round to the Mulla, who after asking three times whether he, she and the bridegroom as well as all present are satisfied, reads the prayers and completes the ceremonial. Then some rice, boiled in milk, is brought in, of which the boy and the girl take a spoonful. They do not retire the first night, but grace the company with their presence. The people assembled then amuse themselves by hearing the musicians, eating, &c.
It appears to be the custom that a person leaves an entertainment whenever he likes, which is generally the case after he has eaten enough.
It must, however, not be imagined that the sexes are secluded from each other in Dardistan. Young people have continual opportunities of meeting each other in the fields at their work or at festive gatherings. Love declarations often take place on these occasions, but if any evil intention is perceived the seducer of a girl is punished by this savage, but virtuous, race with death. The Dards know and speak of the existence of “pure love,” “pâk âshiqi.” Their love songs show sufficiently that they are capable of a deeper, than mere sexual, feeling. No objection to lawful love terminating in matrimony is ever made unless the girl or the boy is of a lower caste. In Gilgit, however, the girl may be of a lower caste than the bridegroom. In Astór it appears that a young man, whose parents—to whom he must mention his desire for marrying any particular person—refuse to intercede, often attains his point by threatening to live in the family of the bride and become an adopted son. A “Shîn” of true race at Astor may live in concubinage with a girl of lower caste, but the relatives of the girl if they discover the intrigue revenge the insult by murdering the paramour, who, however, does not lose caste by the alliance.
The bridegroom dances as well as his twelve companions. The girl ought not to be older than 15 years; but at 12 girls are generally engaged.[50]
The Balti custom of having merely a claim to dowry on the part of the woman—the prosecution of which claim so often depends on her satisfaction with her husband or the rapacity of her relatives—is in spite of the intercourse of the Baltis with the Shîn people never observed by the latter; not even by the Shîn colonists of little Tibet who are called “Brokhpá.”
When the bridegroom has to go for his bride to a distant village he is furnished with a bow. On arriving at his native place he crosses the breast of his bride with an arrow and then shoots it off. He generally shoots three arrows off in the direction of his home.
At Astór the custom is sometimes to fire guns as a sign of rejoicing. This is not done at Gilgit.
When the bridegroom fetches his bride on the second day to his own home, the girl is crying with the women of her household and the young man catches hold of her dress in front (at Gilgit by the hand) and leads her to the door. If the girl cannot get over embracing her people and crying with them quickly, the twelve men who have come along with the bridegroom (who in Astóri are called “hilalée” = bridegrooms and “garóni” in Gilgiti) sing the following song:—
INVITATION TO THE BRIDE.
- Nikàstalì
- Come out
- quáray kusúni
- hawk’s daughter.
- (“astali” is added to the fem. Imp).