Him if a damsel kiss we fain must think she be ready
With her fair lips ——
Nay (may the Gods thus love me) have I thought there to be aught of choice whether I might
smell thy mouth or thy buttocks, O Aemilius. Nothing could the one be cleaner, nothing the other more filthy; nay in truth thy backside is the cleaner and better,—for it is toothless. Thy mouth hath teeth full half a yard in length, gums of a verity like to an old waggon-box, behind which its gape is such as hath the vulva of a she-mule cleft apart by the summer's heat, always a-staling. This object swives girls enow, and fancies himself a handsome fellow, and is not condemned to the mill as an ass? Whatso girl would touch thee, we think her capable of licking the breech of a leprous hangman.
LXXXXVIII.
In te, si in quemquam, dici pote, putide Victi,
Id quod verbosis dicitur et fatuis.
Ista cum lingua, si usus veniat tibi, possis
Culos et crepidas lingere carpatinas.
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