“Arrest?” she inquired, pausing with the buttered fragment of bread half way to her lips. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m placing you under arrest for shoplifting,” the man said.
The woman conveyed the bread to her mouth, chewed it calmly, nodding to herself as though mentally digesting the possibilities of the situation. “How very amusing,” she said, picking up her water glass.
The irritation in the detective’s voice made it distinctly audible to persons sitting within a radius of three tables. “I’ve been following you,” he charged, “watching you put things under your coat.” And, as the woman made as though to open her coat, he added quickly, “Of course I know you haven’t them now. You left them in the restroom.” He turned and nodded to the maid, who vanished through the curtained doorway.
“I don’t think,” the woman said reminiscently, as though trying to recall an eventful past, “that I’ve ever been arrested for shoplifting... No, I’m quite certain I haven’t.”
“Aunty!” the girl exclaimed. “The man’s not joking, he’s serious... He’s...” The maid emerged from the restroom carrying an armful of clothing. There were silk stockings draped over her arm, bits of silk lingerie, a silk blouse, a scarf and a pair of lounging pajamas.
The girl opened her purse, pulled out a checkbook. “My aunt,” she explained rapidly, “is rather eccentric. She does her shopping at times in an unusual manner. I’m afraid perhaps she’s a little absent-minded. If you’ll kindly tell me the exact amount and will be so good as to have the purchases wrapped, I’ll...”
“I’ll do nothing of the sort,” the detective interrupted. “You can’t get away with that stuff, and you know it. That’s an old gag, pulled by every shoplifter in the country. When you get caught red-handed with the goods, you’re ‘ shopping.’ We have another name for it. We call it stealing! ”
Other diners, attracted by the scene, were staring. The girl’s face flushed with mortification. But the white-haired woman seemed concerned only with the menu. “I think,” she said, “I’ll have some of the chicken croquettes.”
“Madam” the detective exclaimed, placing a hand on her shoulder, “you’re under arrest!”