The Century Handbook of Writing

by Garland Greever; Easley S. Jones

Exercise:

1. Men were sent to Panama and could not live in such unsanitary conditions.
2. When a letter came and it bore a familiar handwriting, I always opened it eagerly.
3. West Hickory is the name of the place where the tannery is situated, and it is a laboring man's town.
4. She wore a dress and it was silk, and cost her father a lot of money.
5. Every race horse has a care taker or groom, and this man spends all his time and makes the horse comfortable.

[Faulty Subordination of the Main Thought]

15. Do not put the principal statement of a sentence in a subordinate clause or phrase. This violation of unity is sometimes called "upside-down subordination".

• Faulty: I was going down the street, when I heard an explosion. [If hearing the explosion is the main thought, it should be placed in the main clause.]
• Right: When I was going down the street, I heard an explosion.
• Faulty: Longstreet received orders to attack the Federal right wing, which he did immediately.
• Right: As soon as Longstreet received orders, he attacked the Federal right wing.
• Faulty: I suspected that it would rain, although I did not take an umbrella.
• Right: Although I suspected that it would rain, I did not take an umbrella.

Exercise:

1. An old man used to work for us, who died yesterday.
2. He became angry, saying he positively refused to go.
3. He is a bright boy, although I should not want to trust him with my pocketbook.
4. He had an ambition which was to become the best lawyer in the state by the time he was forty years old.
5. The cable breaks and the elevator starts to drop, when the safety device always operates at once to prevent an accident.

[Subordination Thwarted by and]

16. Do not attach to a main clause by means of and, a word, phrase, or clause which you intend shall be subordinate. The presence of and thwarts subordination.

• Wrong: Major went to bed, and leaving the work unfinished.
• Right: Major went to bed, leaving the work unfinished.
• Wrong: He ran home and with coat tails flying.
• Right: He ran home with coat tails flying.