34. Do not make a compromise between two constructions.
- Faulty: I cannot help but go.
- Right: I cannot help going. [Or] I cannot but go. [Or] I can but go.
- Faulty: They are as following:
- Right: They are as follows: [Or] They are the following:
- Faulty: He tried, but of no avail.
- Right: He tried, but to no avail. [Or] He tried, but his effort was of no avail.
- Faulty: There is no honor to be on this committee.
- Right: It is no honor to be on this committee. [Or] There is no honor in being on this committee.
- Faulty: Sparks from the chimney caught the house on fire.
- Right: Sparks from the chimney set the house on fire. [Or] The house caught fire from the sparks from the chimney.
[Note.]—The double negative and kindred expressions (not hardly, not scarcely, etc.) are an especially gross form of mixed construction.
- Wrong: He isn't no better now than he was then. [Logically, not no better means better. The two negatives cancel each other and leave an affirmative.]
- Right: He isn't any better now than he was then. [Or] He is no better now than he was then.
- Wrong: She couldn't see her friend nowhere.
- Right: She couldn't see her friend anywhere. [Or] She could see her friend nowhere.
- Wrong: We couldn't hardly see through the mist.
- Right: We could hardly see through the mist. [Or] We couldn't see well through the mist.
Exercise:
- He doesn't come here no more.
- I cannot help but make this error.
- I remember scarcely nothing of the occurrence.
- I would not remain there only a few days.
- John would not do this under no circumstances.
[Mixed Imagery]
35. Avoid phrases which may call up conflicting mental images. When using metaphor, simile, etc., carry one figure of speech through, instead of shifting to another, or dropping suddenly back into literal speech.
- Crude: The Republicans have gained a foothold in the heart of the cotton belt.
- Right: The Republicans have gained a foothold in the South.
- Crude: He traveled a rough road and climbed with his burden the ladder of success, where he is a glowing example and guide to other men. [The suggestion which a reader with a sense of humor may get is, that a man starts out as a traveler, suddenly becomes a hod-carrier, and is then transformed into a bonfire or a lighthouse.]
- Right: He traveled a rough road, but found success. Other men followed in his steps.
- Incongruous: Spring came scattering flowers, and there was rain a great per cent of the time. [This sentence mingles the language of poetry with the language of science. It should be fanciful, or else literal, throughout.]
- Right: Spring came scattering flowers and rain. [Or] Spring came with much rain and many flowers.
- Inconsistent use of irony: The phonograph was shrieking, "Waltz me around again, Willie." I am sure I love that beautiful song. The taste of the people who attend these cheap theaters is deplorable. [The three sentences should be ironical throughout, or not ironical at all.]
Exercise: