And then my niece, a virgin pure,
But used to clever folk,
Laughed at that bleesh till I was sure
I’d somehow missed the joke.

Blurb, n. 1. A flamboyant advertisement; an inspired testimonial. 2. Fulsome praise; a sound like a publisher.

Blurb, v. 1. To flatter from interested motives; to compliment oneself.

On the “jacket” of the “latest” fiction, we find the blurb; abounding in agile adjectives and adverbs, attesting that this book is the “sensation of the year;” the blurb tells of “thrills” and “heart-throbs,” of “vital importance” and “soul satisfying revelation.” The blurb speaks of the novel’s “grip” and “excitement.” (See Alibosh.)

The circus advertiser started the blurb, but the book publisher discovered a more poignant charm than alliterative polysyllables. “It holds you from the first page—”

Now, you take this “Burgess Unabridged”—it’s got a jump and a go to it—it’s got a hang and a dash and a swing to it that pulls you right out of the chair, dazzles your eyes, and sets your hair to curling. It’s an epoch-making, heart-tickling, gorglorious tome of joy!

So, were not my publishers old-fashioned, would this my book be blurbed.

If “Burgess Unabridged,” I say,
“Fulfils a long-felt want,”
Don’t mind my praise, nor yet the way
In which I voice my vaunt.

Don’t let my adjectives astute
Your peace of mind disturb;
It’s “bold,” it’s “clever” and it’s “cute,”
And so is this my blurb!