The zobzib “means well”—but deliver us from our friends! He comes too early and he stays too late. He is always in the way. He calls just before dinner, but he will not sit down and dine with you. He is always “just going.” He is fond of picking out a tune on the piano with one finger.
When a zobzib enters, you just know he is going to break or tip over something, or spill claret on the table cloth. He will surely slip on the rug. He is a bull in a china shop, he is as hilarious as a wet Newfoundland dog. (See Splooch.)
The female zobzib gives you advice, “for your own good.” She asks you to buy tickets for church fairs and charity concerts.
A zobzib cannot help missing the train, he cannot help forgetting the theatre tickets. That’s why he’s a zobzib. (See Rawp.)
I’ve often thought I’d like to be a drunkard, so some nice, sweet zobzib would marry me, to reform me.
A zobzib, with a rag and broom
And dust-pan, came today;
She came to tidy up my room,
While I was far away.
She left, and everything I need
Was zobzibbed out of sight—
I can find nothing, but, indeed,
That Zobzib “meant all right!”