But, best of all goigs—or worst—the man who says: “Oh, I’ll surely pay it back next week, at latest!” (See Elp.)
The dividends are ten percent,
The stock “is going to rise,”
“It’s going to make the fortune of
Each lucky man that buys.”
But still, I think I’ll not invest,
I do not know just why,—
But with a Goig, it is best
To let your neighbor try!
Gol´lo-hix, n. 1. An untimely annoyance, especially when one wishes to sleep. 2. An auditory nuisance.
Of course, when you put up at the Fleetville Hotel Imperial, you got a room in the rear, looking out over the railroad station and the trains ran all night, backing and switching, raising a fine gollohix. But the side rooms were just as bad; there was a gollohix windmill creaking incessantly.
Further back in the country a dog will make the best gollohix, baying at the moon, or yelping at a woodchuck.
So let’s come to the city. It’s all night in the Pullman, and the gollohix they make with the milk-cans and switch-engines won’t last but three or four hours.
Why try to describe the gollohix? It’s the piano in the next flat at midnight; it’s the turkey-trotting overhead; it’s the phonograph across the hall. (See Jujasm.)
Why do they put in your neighbor’s coal so late in the evening, when you have tonsilitis? The coal-man loves a gollohix, as a chauffeur loves a cut-out motor, as a city child loves firecrackers on the 3rd of July.
A musical comedy makes a good gollohix when you sit in the front row next to the drum, but a crying baby at four o’clock in the morning makes the best of all. (See Kidloid.)