A quisty maid now cooks for Slade,
She’s uglier and thinner,
But Mrs. Slade is much dismayed;
Slade won’t come home to dinner.
Quoob, n. 1. A misfit, an incompetent person. 2. A person or thing obviously out of place. 3. One not worldly wise.
Quoob, v. To act differently than the rest; to commit a solecism; to be in the wrong place.
As you stand on the doorstep arrayed in your best, a sudden pang smites you. The door is opened. There is a look of blank astonishment, as you are ushered in. No hostess comes to greet you, no gay appareled guests are there. You are a quoob. The dinner is next Thursday, not to-night. (See Zobzib.)
Which is worse, to be the only one in evening dress, when all the rest are modestly clad, or to be yourself in street-clothes, surrounded by low-necks and jewelry? In either case, you are a quoob.
If you are a natural born quoob, you are the only one of all the audience to applaud, or cheer. At that sudden lull in the conversation, you are the one to speak aloud. “No, I must say, I prefer the old-fashioned night-gowns.”
Sadly the quoob waits in the drug-store for the girl who never comes. (See Quink.) He goes to a party thought to be smart, to find he is the only one of importance.
A woman who is too tall is a quoob, or a man who is too short. So are you, when in rain coat and rubbers, after the sun has come out, or returning home in the morning, in your last night’s dress suit.
I dreamed that I went out to walk
In but my nightshirt clad!
I was a Quoob; I could not talk;
Oh, what a time I had!
But that was nothing to my plight
When dining with Miss Lee—
They all wore evening clothes that night
Except one Quoob—’twas me!