Thousands of people, intending to cross on the Titanic, took the next boat following—and boasted of the spillix.
It’s a spillix, to find money in the street; also to discover that the chaperon is more charming than the girl herself. Through a spillix, you blunder into success. (See Zobzib.)
Every young May that weds a rich old December, prays for a spillix, but he seldom dies to leave her a fascinating widow in becoming robes of black.
A spillix is a lucid interval, or the bright remark of a fool.
His first shot to the bull’s eye flew—
He would not shoot—for then
It was a spillix, and he knew
He would not score again.
So, when he wed the girl he sought,
We thought ’twas rather funny—
It was a spillix; for she thought,
Alas, that he had money!
Splooch, n. 1. A failure, a ruin. 2. One who doesn’t know his business; a bad amateur. 3. Exorbitantly overpaid service.
One thinks at first naturally of a restaurant; there are more splooch waiters than anything else in the world. Next, come servant girls, the splooch that burns the soup and leaves the salt out of the bread. A cake with an ingrowing stomach is a splooch. A suit of clothes that looks anxious about the shoulderblades—wet hay—bug-eaten potato plants and pears with worms inside—splooches all.
Most musical comedies are splooches, most stories in the magazines, most janitors. (See Jurp.)
What then, of the dentist who pulls out the sound tooth by mistake, or the surgeon who takes out your appendix but leaves his eye-glasses inside? He’s a medico-splooch.