How oft, tintiddling all alone,
I’m witty, wise, defiant—
But in real life, no one has known
That I’m a mental giant!
Ud´ney, n. 1. A beloved bore; one who loves you but does not understand you; a fond, but stupid relative. 2. An old friend whom you have outgrown.
Your mother, your doting aunt, your dull, but affectionate husband, your favorite brother’s wife; or the man your sister is engaged to—udneys all. You hate to hurt their feelings; would they not do anything in the world for you? You go to them in your troubles and you forget them in your pleasures. You hate to write to them, but manage to scrawl hasty and vapid notes. (See Uglet.)
The udney gives you gifts of clothing you can’t possibly wear, and expects you to rave over them.
Or, the udney is someone who likes you more than you like him. He is like an affectionate dog, always under foot or licking your hand.
In the pathetic slavery that women endure, not the slavery of women to men—but that of women to women—the udney has the master hand. The blindly doting parent, whose daughter “has no secrets from her,” rules with a rod of sugar. Though her daughter may be old enough to have to “touch up” her hair—yet so long as she has a “Miss” before her name will it be her doom to be the willing slave and pet of an unconscious udney. (See Varm.)
Jane’s mother nothing did forbid;
She was an udney, though—
Because, whatever Janey did
Her mother had to know.
“Of course he’ll marry you,” one day,
She said to guilty Jane,
“Or else why should he kiss you, pray?”
How could the girl explain!
Ug´let, n. 1. An unpleasant duty. 2. Something one puts off too long.
Ug´gle, v. 1. To procrastinate respecting the inevitable. 2. To do something one dislikes.