CONTENTS

[INTRODUCTION] [WINDOW SMOOCHERS] [A LOW TRICK] [WHEN TO GO] ["AIN'T"] [NELL THE NIBBLER] [JUSTICE] [A PUZZLE] [FRANKNESS] [THE DUTY OF THE STRONG] [WALKING WITH PAPA] [PIANO TORTURE] [AT TABLE] [HOW TO EAT SOUP] [BABY'S APOLOGY] [IN THE STREET] [SICK FURNITURE] [BORROWED PLUMES] [THE GOOP PICNIC] [BOOK-MANNERS] [POOR MOTHER!] [CHEATING] [GOOP! GOOP! GOOP!] [VISITING] [PICKING AND STEALING] [LOYALTY] [INDOLENCE] [THE LAW OF HOSPITALITY] [THE FLOWER HOSPITAL] [PUPPY GOOPS] [EXAGGERATION] [NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!] [STEALING RIDES] [UNTIDY GOOPS] [A GOOP PARTY] [INQUISITIVENESS] [DON'T BE GOOD] [WRITE RIGHT!] [WET FEET] [DRESS QUICKLY!] [DANGER!] [THE REASON WHY] [IN GOOP ATTIRE] [IMPOSSIBLE]

[!-- H2 --]

INTRODUCTION Children, although you might expect
My manners to be quite correct
(For since I fancy I can teach,
I ought to practice what I preach),
'Tis true that I have often braved
My mother's wrath, and misbehaved!
And almost every single rule
I broke, before I went to school!
For that is how I learned the way
To teach you etiquette to-day.
So when you chance to take a look
At all the maxims in the book,
You'll see that most of them are true,
I found them out, and so will you,
For if you are as GOOP derided,
You may perhaps reform, as I did!
INTRODUCTION Children, although you might expect
My manners to be quite correct
(For since I fancy I can teach,
I ought to practice what I preach),
'Tis true that I have often braved
My mother's wrath, and misbehaved!
And almost every single rule
I broke, before I went to school!
For that is how I learned the way
To teach you etiquette to-day.
So when you chance to take a look
At all the maxims in the book,
You'll see that most of them are true,
I found them out, and so will you,
For if you are as GOOP derided,
You may perhaps reform, as I did!
INTRODUCTION Children, although you might expect
My manners to be quite correct
(For since I fancy I can teach,
I ought to practice what I preach),
'Tis true that I have often braved
My mother's wrath, and misbehaved!
And almost every single rule
I broke, before I went to school!
For that is how I learned the way
To teach you etiquette to-day.
So when you chance to take a look
At all the maxims in the book,
You'll see that most of them are true,
I found them out, and so will you,
For if you are as GOOP derided,
You may perhaps reform, as I did!
[!-- H2 --] WINDOW-SMOOCHERS Little Goops are marking On the window pane; I forbid, in vain! Noses, when they're greasy, Leave a smooch so easy! Rub it out again! I shall have to scold them, For I've often told them, Kindly, to refrain!
Little Goops are marking On the window pane; I forbid, in vain! Noses, when they're greasy, Leave a smooch so easy! Rub it out again! I shall have to scold them, For I've often told them, Kindly, to refrain!
Little Goops are marking On the window pane; I forbid, in vain! Noses, when they're greasy, Leave a smooch so easy! Rub it out again! I shall have to scold them, For I've often told them, Kindly, to refrain!