AN IMPOSSIBLE EPIC:

Then it puffed an’ puffed, a-faster an’ faster,
While Wallie sat there like an old school-master,
A-drivin’ that train till, I tell you what!
You no idea what a nerve he’s got!
Willie he held on to Wallie, an’ Jane
Held onto Willie with might and main.
Then they hitched along, like an old inch-worm,
With now a spazzum, and then a squirm;
But Willie and Wallie and Pinkie Jane,
They soon got sick o’ that Railroad train!
But when they crawled to the last end car
To jump on the ground, where it wasn’t far,
They got a heap worse off, instead,
For that nasty train, it stood on its head!
An’ they all yelled, “Telegraft Huldy Ann,
And make her come as quick as she can.
We can’t get off. Oh, hurry up, please!
What would we do if the thing should sneeze?”

SEQUEL TO THE
CHEWING-GUM MAN

I tell yer them children was in a fix
While that mad engine was doin’ his tricks.
But the messenger-boy found Huldy Ann,
An’ she said, “I’m glad that I ain’t a man!
I’ll show ’em how!” an’ she crossed the Bay,
An’ she see in a wink where the trouble lay.
An’ she said, “You go, an’ you telegraft back
For a load o’ candy to block the track!”
An’ when they sent it, she piled it high
With chocolate caramels, good ones,—My!
Peppermint drops and cocoanut cream,
Till it looked too good for a Christmas dream!
And the sun it melted and finished the job
Into one great elegant sticky gob!
So the train run into it lickety-split,
An’ the cow-catcher stuck, when the engine hit,—
An’ the tail o’ the train flew up and threw
Them children into that caramel goo!
They fell clear in,—way over their head,
But Ann eat ’em out, an’ sent ’em to bed!