High-sounding but most ridiculous titles were given, by the nominal "importers," to their live stock; and the public were asked to purchase "Hong-Kong" fowls, "Bengal Eagle" chickens, "Wild Indian Mountain" hens, "Whang-tongs," "Quittaquongs," "Hoang-Hos," "Paduas," etc.; and the following advertisement appeared, finally, to cap the climax of this inexpressibly stupid nonsense. It was printed in an agricultural monthly, issued somewhere in western New York, and it ran as follows:
"Mormann & Humm, Importers and Exporters of, and Dealers in, all breeds and varieties of Blooded Live Stock, Big Falls, N.S. Messrs. Mormann and Humm are now perfecting their arrangements for importing from Europe and Asia all the best breeds of Horses, Cattle, Hogs, Dogs, Sheep, Rabbits, Goats, Fowls, &c. &c., and for exporting Buffalo, Elk, Deer, Moose, Badgers, Bears, Foxes, Swifts, Eagles, Swans, Pelicans, Cranes, Loons, &c. &c. They will keep on hand, as near as may be, all the best Blooded Animals and Fowls—gallinaceous and aquatic—fancy and substantial—which they will furnish to their numerous patrons in Europe and America at reasonable rates. All orders should be directed to Big Falls, N.S., until otherwise notified.
"Also, they have imported the finest and only Ptarmagins ever introduced into the United States. These surprisingly beautiful fowls are direct from the original stock. The Ptarmagins—white in winter and ash-colored in summer—booted and tufted—are the most unique of domestic fowls. They will supply orders for Ptarmagin chickens; also, Hoang-Hos, Imperials, Falcon-hocked Cochins, (!) and a large variety of Improved Suffolks and other fine hogs, from the choice stocks of His Royal Highness Prince Albert, His Grace the Duke of Beaufort, Lord Wenlock, the Earl of Radnor, late Earl of Ducie, Rev. Mr. Thursby, Mr. Garbanati, &c. &c. Also some choice Chinese Mandarin and Siamese hogs, &c. &c. &c."
In this same pamphlet, appeared the annexed communication (in the form of a letter to the nominal publisher), which will explain itself, probably, to those who are acquainted with its hifalutin author. It was a rich "card," in the estimation of the "boys," at the time of its first appearance, though nobody ever saw this extraordinary beast or its progeny, I imagine:
Chinese Mandarin Hogs.
"——, Nov. 7, 1854.
"Friend M——:
"We have just purchased the lot of Chinese Mandarin Swine, imported, &c. &c. &c....
"This is the best breed of China hogs, and are great favorites with the inhabitants, the meat being remarkably tender and fine-flavored. At maturity they weigh from fifteen to eighteen score, and are very prolific.
"The head and face of these animals very closely resemble an elephant, both as to the appearance of the skin and ears, and the number and depth of facial fissures; perfectly unique, and strikingly oriental in capital aspect.
"The neck is longer than that of anything of the hog race, imparting a most singular appearance to the proportions of the whole animal.
"These Chinese hogs are entirely different from anything of the sort ever imported into this country before, and are the most prolific of the swine race. The imported sow and each of the sow-pigs have eighteen well-developed dugs. The number of well-defined dugs is always the best prima facie evidence of prolificness in any animal.
"The bodies of these hogs are shaped like the white Berkshire breed of England. They take on fat with remarkable rapidity, and, in color, though not so spotted as the leopard, these hogs are beautifully striated, the body spotted like polished alabaster and ebony, checkered and rounded most exquisitely.
"We shall have an engraving of these animals for the northern agricultural papers, and one of the great English periodicals.
"Yours, truly,
"—— & ——."
The editor adds, cautiously, "The importers are gentlemen of strict probity and honor, so far as our knowledge extends; but, in these hurrying times, when the public excitement is up on any kind of stock, a man may import and sell worthless animals, to a great extent, before a reaction can take place."
Now, this sort of mush and moonshine very soon nauseated upon the stomachs of "the people," even; who ordinarily can (and will) patiently submit to a vast deal of mummery. But when such palpable bosh as this is placed before them, they are apt to dodge all association with it and its clearly-expressed humbuggery; and so the tide now very quickly began to turn against the trade. "Brahmas," and "Quittaquong" fowls, and "Mandarin" pigs, proved too threatening a dose for the masses! They hadn't time to spell out the names of such stock—to say nothing of purchasing it, at round figures, and attempting to breed it afterwards.
What those men imagined they could possibly effect by this sort of ridiculous nonsense, I am unable to conceive of. Yet it was put forth in sober earnest; and scores of similar advertisements filled the papers, from time to time—each having for its object the continuous gulling of the "dear people," each in its own peculiar way.
And for years—up to this period—the star-gazing, wonder-loving, humbug-seeking portion of the community,—the mass who fill every corner of the land, and who watch for something continuously "new under the sun," out of which money can be made,—I say, for years, this portion of the public believed what they saw and read of, and responded to this sort of thing with a gusto equalled only by the zest with which, in years before, they had encouraged and supported the score of other "hums" that had been current around them.
But the delusions of morus multicaulis, and Merino sheep, and patent bee-keeping, and Berkshire pigs, and tulip-growing, had passed away; and the hen fever, at last, subsided, too. Unpronounceable names and long-winded advertisements wouldn't do! "The people" had ascertained that there was an end even to Shanghae and Brahma-ism! And this flimsiest of all bubbles was now inflated fully to bursting.