“And what the devil do you mean, O’Grady, by ——? I’m hanged if I ever heard of such——”
“There you are,” said Dr. O’Grady. “I knew you wouldn’t be satisfied. I’ve told you all I know about the General, and so far from saying nothing more, you begin to curse in the most frightful way.”
“That’s all very well,” said the Major, “but if there’s no such person as that General——”
“I didn’t say that. I said I knew nothing about him. I’m a well educated man, Major, far better educated than you are. But there are thousands and thousands of quite eminent people still alive whose names I’ve never heard, and when it comes to dead people there are probably millions, scattered up and down through history books, whom I know nothing about. They may all be quite famous in their own localities and may thoroughly deserve statues. It’s not their fault that I know nothing about them.”
“But we don’t any of us know anything about this General. I don’t. Doyle doesn’t. You don’t. Why on earth should we put up a statue to him?”
“Why shouldn’t we allow that American—Billing or whatever his name is—to put up a statue if he likes? He wants to. Why shouldn’t he?”
“Why should he put it up here?” said the Major. “What brings him to Ballymoy?”
“I expect,” said Dr. O’Grady—“mind, I don’t know for certain—but I expect that he’s come to the wrong place, mixed up Ballymoy with some other town, with the town in which Regan was really born. This General of his was evidently a pretty big pot in his way, and if he had been born in Ballymoy some of us would have heard of him.”
“In that case,” said the Major, “we ought to tell Billing of his mistake.”
“Certainly not. In the first place that would be a very unkind thing to do. Nobody likes being told of their mistakes, especially when they’re as full of bounce and self-confidence as this fellow Billing. It’s not right to be maliciously and wantonly unkind, Major, even to dumb animals; and I can’t imagine anything more cruel than to tell Billing that he’s made a mistake. In the next place, why on earth should we miss the chance of getting a statue in Ballymoy? We haven’t got one at present, and a good statue—we’ll get quite a respectable one for Billing’s £100, even if we don’t subscribe a penny ourselves—will be a great ornament to the town. You may not care for statues, Major, but all really cultivated people love them. Look at Dublin! It’s a city with two universities in it, and the consequence is that it’s simply spotted all over with statues. Look at ancient Athens, the most cultured city the world has ever seen. The number of statues the Athenians had would surprise you. Why shouldn’t we have one? It’ll do us all good.”