General John Regan

by George A. Birmingham

“If so be the Lord-Lieutenant was to come, and the Lady-Lieutenant with him, and more of the lords and ladies that does be attending on them up in Dublin Castle——”

“Aides-de-camp, and people of that sort,” said Dr. O’Grady. “They’d simply swarm down on us.”

“There’d have to be a luncheon for them,” said Doyle.

“And it would be in your hotel. I forgot about the luncheon. There’ll be a pot of money to be made out of that.”

“With drinks and all,” said Doyle, with deep conviction. “There would. The like of them people wouldn’t be contented with porter.”

“Champagne,” said Dr. O’Grady, “is the recognised tipple for anybody high up in the Government service. It wouldn’t be respectful not to offer it.”

“But he won’t come,” said Doyle. “What would bring him?”

“The statue will bring him.”

“The statue! Talk sense, doctor. What would the like of him want to be looking at statues for? Won’t he have as many as he wants in Dublin Castle, and better ones than we’d be able to show him?”

“You’re missing the point, Doyle. I’m not proposing to bring him down here simply to look at a statue. I’m going to ask him to unveil it. Now as far as I know the history of Ireland—and I’m as well up in it as most men—that would be an absolutely unprecedented invitation for any Lord-Lieutenant to receive. The novelty of the thing will attract him at once. And what’s more, the idea will appeal to his better nature. I needn’t tell you, Doyle, that the earnest desire of every Lord-Lieutenant is to assist the material and intellectual advancement of Ireland. He’s always getting opportunities of opening technical schools and industrial shows of one sort or another. They’ve quite ceased to attract him. But we’re displaying an entirely new spirit. By erecting a public statue in a town like this we are showing that we’ve arrived at an advanced stage of culture. There isn’t another potty little one-horse town in Ireland that has ever shown the slightest desire to set up a great and elevating work of art in its midst. You may not appreciate that aspect of the matter, Doyle, but——”