“I’ve set the police scouring the country,” said the sergeant, “searching high and low and in and out for anyone, man or woman, that was the least bit queer in the head. They’ve worked hard, so they have, and I’ve worked hard myself.”
“No man harder,” said Flanagan.
“And everyone we found,” said the Sergeant, “was a guinea into the doctor’s pocket. A guinea, mind you, that’s the fee for certifying a lunatic, and devil a penny either I or the constables get out of it.”
“Nor you wouldn’t be looking for it, sergeant. I know that.”
“I would not. And I’m not complaining of getting nothing. But it’s damned hard when the doctor won’t take what’s offered to him, when we’ve had to work early and late to get it for him. Would you believe it now, Mr. Flanagan, he’s refused to certify half of the ones we’ve found for him?”
“Do you tell me that?” said Flanagan.
“Throwing good money away,” said the sergeant; “and to-day, when I took him to see that boy that does be living in Finnegan’s, which would have put two guineas into his pocket, on account of being outside his own district, instead of saying ‘thank you’ like any ordinary man would, nothing would do him only to be cursing and swearing. ‘It’s a crime,’ says he, ‘and a scandal,’ says he, ‘and it’s swearing away the liberty of a poor man,’ says he; and more to that. Now I ask you, Mr. Flanagan, where’s the crime and where’s the scandal?”
“There’s none,” said Flanagan. “What harm would it have done the lad to be put away for a bit?”
“That’s what I said to the doctor. What’s more, they’d have let the boy out in a fortnight, as soon as they knew what way it was with him. I told the doctor that, but ‘crime,’ says he, and ‘scandal,’ says he, and ‘conspiracy,’ says he. Be damn, but to hear him talk you’d think I was trying to take two guineas out of his pocket instead of trying to put it in, and there’s the thanks I get for going out of my way to do the best I could for him so as he’d rest content in this place and let Dr. Farelly stay where he is to be cutting the legs off the Germans.”
“It’s hard, so it is,” said Flanagan, “and I’m sorry for you, sergeant. But that’s the way things is. As I was saying to you once before and maybe oftener, the English is queer people, and the more you’d be trying to please them the less they like it. It’s not easy to deal with them, and that’s a fact.”