JOHN P. CURRAN, MASTER OF ROLLS.
One naturally turns to Curran for a selection of the witty sayings of the Irish Bar, and abundantly he supplies them, although in these days many of his jests may be considered as in somewhat doubtful taste. Phillips tells us he remembered Curran once—in an action for breach of promise of marriage, in which he was counsel for the defendant, a young clergyman—thus appealing to the jury: "Gentlemen, I entreat you not to ruin this young man by a vindictive verdict; for though he has talents, and is in the Church, he may rise!"
After his college career Curran went to London to study for the Bar. His circumstances were often straitened, and at times so much so that he had to pass the day without dinner. But under such depressing circumstances his high spirits never forsook him. One day he was sitting in St. James's Park merrily whistling a tune when a gentleman passed, who, struck by the youth's melancholy appearance while, at the same time, he whistled a lively air, asked how he "came to be sitting there whistling while other people were at dinner." Curran replied, "I would have been at dinner too, but a trifling circumstance—delay in remittances—obliges me to dine on an Irish tune." The result was that Curran was invited to dine with the stranger, and years afterwards, when he had become famous, he recalled the incident to his entertainer—Macklin, the celebrated actor—with the assurance, "You never acted better in your life."
From Phillips again we have Curran's retort upon an Irish judge, who was quite as remarkable for his good humour and raillery as for his legal researches. Curran was addressing a jury on one of the State trials in 1803 with his usual animation. The judge, whose political bias, if any judge can have one, was certainly supposed not to be favourable to the prisoner, shook his head in doubt or denial of one of the advocate's arguments. "I see, gentlemen," said Curran, "I see the motion of his lordship's head; common observers might imagine that implied a difference of opinion, but they would be mistaken; it is merely accidental. Believe me, gentlemen, if you remain here many days, you will yourselves perceive that when his lordship shakes his head, there's nothing in it!"
Curran was one day engaged in a case in which he had for a junior a remarkably tall and slender gentleman, who had been originally intended to take orders. The judge observing that the case under discussion involved a question of ecclesiastical law, Curran interposed with: "I refer your lordship to a high authority behind me, who was once intended for the Church, though in my opinion he was fitter for the steeple."
He was one day walking with a friend, who, hearing a person say "curosity" for "curiosity," exclaimed: "How that man murders the English language!"—"Not so bad as that," replied Curran. "He has only knocked an 'i' out."
Curran never joined the hunt, except once, not far from Dublin. His horse joined very keenly in the sport, but the horseman was inwardly hoping all the while that the dogs would not find. In the midst of his career, the hounds broke into a potato field of a wealthy land-agent, who happened to have been severely cross-examined by Curran some days before. The fellow came up patronisingly and said, "Oh sure, you are Counsellor Curran, the great lawyer. Now then, Mr. Lawyer, can you tell me by what law you are trespassing on my ground?"—"By what law, did you ask, Mr. Maloney?" replied Curran. "It must be the Lex Tally-ho-nis, to be sure."