A young barrister once tried to raise a laugh at the Mess dinner at the expense of "Jerry Keller," a barrister who was prominent in social circles of Dublin, and whose cousin, a wine merchant, held the contract for supplying wine to the Mess cellar. "I have noticed," said the junior, "that the claret bottles are growing smaller and smaller at each Assizes since your cousin became our wine merchant."—"Whist!" replied Jerry; "don't you be talking of what you know nothing about. It's quite natural the bottles should be growing smaller, because we all know they shrink in the washing."
An ingenious expedient was devised to save a prisoner charged with robbery in the Criminal Court at Dublin. The principal thing that appeared in evidence against him was a confession, alleged to have been made by him at the police office. The document, purporting to contain this self-criminating acknowledgment, was produced by the officer, and the following passage was read from it:
"Mangan said he never robbed but twice
Said it was Crawford."
This, it will be observed, has no mark of the writer having any notion of punctuation, but the meaning attached to it was, that
"Mangan said he never robbed but twice.
Said it was Crawford."
Mr. O'Gorman, the counsel for the prisoner, begged to look at the paper. He perused it, and rather astonished the peace officer by asserting, that so far from its proving the man's guilt, it clearly established his innocence. "This," said the learned gentleman, "is the fair and obvious reading of the sentence:
"Mangan said he never robbed;
But twice said it was Crawford."
This interpretation had its effect on the jury, and the man was acquitted.