These old-time judges with their rugged ferocity, corruption, and occasionally brave words and deeds, in a great measure present to us now a miniature history of Scotland in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. "Show me the man, and I will show you the law," one is reported to have said, meaning that the litigant with the longest purse was pretty certain to win his case in the long run. They delighted in long arguments, and highly appreciated bewilderment in pleadings; "Dinna be brief," cried one judge when an advocate modestly asked to be briefly heard in a case in which he appeared as junior counsel. But the tendency to delay cases in the old Courts stretched beyond all reasonable lengths and became a scandal to the country. It was not a question of a month or even a year. Years passed and still cases remained undecided, some even were passed on from one generation to another—a litigant by his will handing on his plea in the Court to his successor along with his estate. This protracted delay in deciding causes formed the subject of that highly amusing and characteristic skit on the Scottish judges for which Boswell was largely responsible:
THE COURT OF SESSION GARLAND
Part First
The Bill charged on was payable at sight
And decree was craved by Alexander Wight;[1]
But, because it bore a penalty in case of failzie
It therefore was null contended Willie Baillie.[2]
The Ordinary not chusing to judge it at random
Did with the minutes make avizandum.
And as the pleadings were vague and windy
His Lordship ordered memorials hinc inde.
We setting a stout heart to a stey brae
Took into the cause Mr. David Rae:[3]
Lord Auchenleck,[4] however, repelled our defence,
And over and above decerned for expence.
However of our cause not being asham'd,
Unto the whole Lords we straightway reclaim'd;
And our petition was appointed to be seen,
Because it was drawn by Robbie Macqueen.[5]
The answer of Lockhart[6] himself it was wrote,
And in it no argument or fact was forgot;
He is the lawyer that from no cause will flinch,
And on this occasion divided the Bench.
Alemoor,[7] the judgment as illegal blames,
'Tis equity, you bitch, replies my Lord Kames;[8]
This cause, cries Hailes,[9] to judge I can't pretend,
For Justice, I see, wants an e at the end.
Lord Coalston[10] expressed his doubts and his fears,
And Strichen[11] then in his weel weels and O dears;
This cause much resembles that of M'Harg,
And should go the same way, says Lordy Barjarg.[12]