Balmuto: "My lord, it's no a livin' lion, it's the Latin word for lien" (leen).
Hermand: "No, sir; the word is French."
Balmuto: "I thought it was Latin, for it's in italics."
HENRY HOME, LORD KAMES.
Henry Home (Lord Kames) was at once one of the most enlightened and learned of Scottish judges of the latter half of the eighteenth century, and one of the most eccentric. His History of Mankind brought him into correspondence with most of the famous men and women of his day, and yet it was his delight to walk up the Canongate and High Street with a half-witted creature who made it his business to collect all the gossip of the town and retail it to his lordship as he made his way to Court in the morning. His humour was very sarcastic, and nothing delighted him more than to observe that it cut home. Leaving the Court one day shortly before his death he met James Boswell, and accosted him with, "Well, Boswell, I shall be meeting your old father one of these days, what shall I say to him how you are getting on now?" Boswell disdained to reply. After a witness in a capital trial at Perth Circuit concluded his evidence, Lord Kames said to him, "Sir, I have one question more to ask you, and remember you are on your oath. You say you are from Brechin?"—"Yes, my lord."—"When do you return thither?"—"To-morrow, my lord."—"Do you know Colin Gillies?"—"Yes, my lord; I know him very well."—"Then tell him that I shall breakfast with him on Tuesday morning."
Lord Kames used to relate a story of a man who claimed the honour of his acquaintance on rather singular grounds. His lordship, when one of the justiciary judges, returning from the North Circuit to Perth, happened one night to sleep at Dunkeld. The next morning, walking towards the ferry, but apprehending he had missed his way, he asked a man whom he met to conduct him. The other answered, with much cordiality, "That I will do with all my heart, my lord. Does not your lordship remember me? My name's John ——. I have had the honour to be before your lordship for stealing sheep!"—"Oh, John, I remember you well; and how is your wife? She had the honour to be before me too, for receiving them, knowing them to be stolen."—"At your lordship's service. We were very lucky; we got off for want of evidence; and I am still going on in the butcher trade."—"Then," replied his lordship, "we may have the honour of meeting again."
Once when on Circuit his lordship had been dozing on the bench, a noise created by the entrance of a new panel woke him, and he inquired what the matter was. "Oh, it's a woman, my lord, accused of child murder."—"And a weel farred b—h too," muttered his lordship, loud enough to be heard by those present.