He was at the long-legged Age and walked Loose and stepped on his own
Feet, and whenever he walked briskly across the Floor to ask some
Tessie to dance with him, every one crowded back against the Wall to
avoid getting one on the Shin.
He combed his Hair straight back, like a Sea Lion, and in Zero Weather wore a peculiar type of Low Shoe with a Hard-Boiled Egg in the Toe.
His overcoat was of Horse Blanket material with a Surcingle, and the
Hat needed a Hair Cut and a Shave. When he topped off his Mardi Gras
Combination with a pair of Yellow Gloves that sounded like a Cry for
Help and went teetering down the Street, his Father would vent Delight
over the Fact that the Legislature had passed Game Laws.
One day at Luncheon Father got so Steamy that he had to blow off. So he opened up on Son and practically wiped him off the Map. He sure burned him Alive.
He kidded the whole Make-Up and said he was the Male Parent of a
Champion Gillie, whatever that is.
He said the Hat was a Scream and the Overcoat was a Riot and the overlapping Collar with the dinky Four-in-Hand was a Comic Supplement, and why had such a Freak been wished on to a hard-headed Business Man.
He laughed brutally at the low comedy Shoes with the swollen
Promontories and the Trousers with the double Reef and the folding
Cuffs and the Hair with the Patent-Leather Gloss.
Mother sat back tapping her Foot and trying to hold in, but she was
Sore as a Crab, for she loved her Lambkin.
Finally she could not stand it any longer, so she rushed to the Boudoir and produced from [a] Bureau Drawer the Tintype which Papa had slipped to her just 8 weeks before they faced the Justice of the Peace at Akron, Ohio.
It was the True likeness of a Male Hyena whose Hair was combed low on the Forehead into a gummy and passionate Cow-Lick.