"I have had a strange life," I answered faintly.
"No doubt about that," says the Captain. "So have I, Brother, and not an over-good one: that's why I asked you. If the old woman hadn't been in the oven herself, she'd never have gone there to look for her daughter. But have you anything on your mind, Brother? Is there anything that Billy Blokes can do for you?"
I answered, very gratefully, that there was nothing I could think of.
"'Cause why," he resumed, "if there is, you have only to sing out. If you think you're like to slip your Cable and would like to say something, we've got a Padre on board out of the last Prize, and he shall come and do the Right Thing for you. You don't know anything about his lingo; but what odds is that? Spanish, or Thieves' Latin, or rightdown Cockney,—it's all one when the word's given to pipe all hands."
I answered that I was no Papist, but a humble member of the Church of England as by Law established.
"Of course," concluded the Captain. "So am I. God bless King George and the Protestant Succession, and confound the Pope, the Devil, and the Pretender! But any Port in a storm, you know; and a Padre's better than no Prayers at all. I've done all I could for you, Brother. I've read you most part of the story of Bel and the Dragon, likewise the Articles of War, and a lot of psalms out of Sternhold and Hopkins; and now, if you feel skeery about losing the number of your mess, I'll make your Will for you, to be all shipshape before the Big Wigs of London. There must be a matter of Four Hundred Pounds coming to you already for your share of Plunder; and no one shall say that Billy Blokes ever robbed a Messmate of even a twopenny tester of his Rights."
Again I thanked this singular person, who, for all his Addictedness to Rum-and-Water, of which he drank vast quantities, was one of the most Sagacious men I have known. But I told him that I had neither kith nor kin belonging to me; that I did not even know the name of my Father and Mother; and that my Grandmother, even, was an Unknown Lady, and been dead nigh forty years. Finally, that if I made my Will, it would only be to the effect that my Property, if any, might be divided among the Ship's Company of the Marquis, with a donative of Fifty guineas to the Hope and Delight people to drink to my Memory.
"Ay, and to a pleasant journey to Fiddler's Green," cries out the Captain. "But cheer up, Heart; ye're not weighed for the Long Journey yet." Nor had I; for I presently recovered, and in less than a month after my Mishap was again whole and fit for Duty. And I have set this down in order to confute those malignant men who have declared that all my Wounds were from Stripes between the Shoulders; whereas I can show the marks, 1°, of an English Grenadier's bayonet; 2°, of a Frenchman's sword; 3°, of a Spanish bullet; with many more Scars gotten as honourably, and which it would be only braggadocio to tell the History of.
Item.—The Corregidores, or Head-Men of Guayaquil, are great Thieves. The Mercenary Viceroys not being permitted to Trade themselves, do use the Corregidores as middle-men, and these again employ a third hand; so that ships are constantly employed carrying Quicksilver, and all manner of precious and prohibited goods, to and from Mexico out of by-ports. Thus, too, being their own Judges, they get vast Estates, and stop all complaints in Old Spain by Bribes. But now and then comes out a Viceroy who is a Man of Honesty and Probity, and will have none of these Scoundrelly ways of Making Money (like Mr. Henry Fielding among the Trading Justices, a Bright exception for integrity, though his Life, as I have heard, was otherwise dissolute), and then he falls too and squeezes the Corregidores, in the same manner as Cardinal Richelieu, that was Lewis Thirteenth's Minister, was wont to do with the Financiers. "You must treat 'em like Leeches," said he; "and when they are bloated with blood, put salt upon them, to make them disgorge." And I have heard that this rigid System of Probity, and putting salt on the gorged Corregidores, has ofttimes turned out more profitable to the Viceroys than trading on their own account.
Many of our men falling sick here, and our Ransom being now fully disbursed by the authorities of Guayaquil, we made haste to get away from the place, which was fast becoming pestiferous.