LIEUTENANT (explaining apologetically, supposing the outbreak to be due to a millionaire’s ignorance of such cheap matters) An expression, Mr. Magnus—“twofera nickel” is two cigars for five cents. Rubes smoke ’em.
PEATTIE (angry)
Rubes, eh? Well, thank Joshyouway, I ain’t a New Yorker, mister—where every next fella’s a Harp or a Ginny, a Kike or a Polack; where haff of ’em don’t even talk Amurrican. (Turning to The Devil, who has been listening with approval) Doctor Agnus, be ashamed of yourself! I’m older’n you: old enough to be Sheriff here when your daddy was Senator. And your dad, young gentleman, he told me to arrest old Commodore Vanderbilt. Yes, sir—the Commodore—driving his hosses too fast ‘long Main Street, endangerin’ lives and limbs of old women and children. Your dad, he sez: “St. Elmo, no matter who he is, any big man that breaks laws is little.” Little, yes, sir; and why? “Because,” says your dad, the Honnible Maxwell Agnus, “because, Sheriff, people who don’t know no better is goin’to say: ‘If the biggest man in the country breaks laws then them laws ’es no good’—and so,” sez your dad, “ignorant people start breakin’ ’em too—” and, sez he, “the law’s like a brick barn, Sheriff; taking one brick out makes the walls git weak and, pritty soon, the whole blamed thing starts tumbling down.”
THE DEVIL (interested)
And did the Honorable Maxwell Agnus get elected to the Senate again after telling you to arrest the biggest man in the country?
PEATTIE
Betcha he did! People was different then. They was Amurricans. And when they found out why the Commodore hated your dad; why he was tryin’to keep him outa office agin; why, they just swan to goodness that was the sorta fella they wanted in Congress—what would take up for the weak agin’ the strong. He was Senator pritty nigh fifteen years after—
THE DEVIL (smiling)
And then?
PEATTIE (reluctantly)