Absurd. The horse snorted as Jackson spoke and kicked up his heels.
Correct. As Jackson spoke, the horse snorted and kicked up his heels.
Revise. The wind stormed across the desert where the corpse lay and whistled.
413. Place every modifying phrase so that the expression it modifies is unmistakable.
Misleading. The captain says that if your rifles are not clean day after tomorrow he will put every one of you in the guard house.
Clear. The captain says that if day after tomorrow your rifles are not clean he will put every one of you in the guard house.
Revise. When he took his seat much to his chagrin the lights went out.
414. Place co-ordinate modifiers one after another.
Halting. Even though he had never seen you before, he would let you know who he was if he liked your appearance.