Better. As the sun climbed higher, the spell of the dawn was broken, and the camp began to come to life. Soon the surface of the lake was dotted with bobbing heads as the campers splashed about taking their dip before breakfast. There was much laughter and merry shouting; everybody was ready to have as much fun as he could. Across the lake the farmers were commencing to plow. And from the road behind came the rattle of milk carts on their way to the creamery. It was morning; the world was awake.
120. Give each idea the position it deserves.
Wrong. Here and there the long, shiny body of a fish shot out of the water and fell back with a faint splash. The lake changed from the deep blue reflected from the clear sky to all the brilliant colors of the sunset. The sun began to set long before it should have, according to the campers’ ideas. Canoes crept out without a sound from the shore, and the campers enjoyed to the fullest their favorite time of the day. Gulls called back and forth and settled for the night on jutting sand bars.
Better. The sun began to set long before it should have, according to the campers’ ideas. The lake changed in color from the deep blue that had been reflected from the clear sky to all the brilliance of the sunset. Here and there the long, shiny body of a fish shot out of the water and fell back with a gentle splash. Gulls called back and forth to one another and began to settle for the night on jutting sand bars. Now canoes crept from the shore without a sound, and the campers enjoyed to the full this their favorite hour of the day.
121. End with whatever will give an impression of a well-rounded whole.
... With all these hints of prospective fun, how easy it is to bang the books back upon the table and let the world go hang—on Friday night.
122. Choose a title that will indicate in a word or a phrase what the composition is about. Be sure not to refer to the title in the body of the composition as if it were an integral part of the composition.
Wrong.
Friday Night