Jim wanted these estimates down in his book however, thinking perhaps that he might some time be wise enough to comprehend them or find some one that could do it. And when Daniel had put them down, he also made another memorandum underneath them to this effect, and which astonished the Indians very much—“The plate that ornamented the sideboard at the banquet at the Queen’s nuptials was estimated at 500,000l. (2,500,000 dollars).”
By the time their statistics had progressed thus far their dinner was ready, which was a thing much more simple to comprehend, and consequently more pleasing to them; so their note-book was shut, and taxes and game-laws and national debt gave way to roast-beef and chickabobboo.
Their drive through the city had tended to increase the curiosity to see them, and their exhibition-room on the second night was crowded to excess. This was sure to put the Indians into the best of humour; and seeing in different parts of the room quite a number of Friends, gave them additional satisfaction.
In a new country again, and before so full and fashionable an audience, I took unusual pains to explain the objects for which these people had come to this country, their personal appearance, and the modes they were to illustrate. When I had got through, and the Indians were sitting on the platform and smoking their pipe, a man rose in the crowd and said, “That’s all gammon, sir!—these people are not Indians. I have seen many Indians, sir, and you can’t hoax me!” Here the audience hissed, and raised the cry of “Put him out!—shame!” &c. I stepped forward, and with some difficulty got them silent, and begged they would let the gentleman finish his remarks, because, if they were fairly heard and understood, they might probably add much to the amusements of the evening. So he proceeded: “I know this to be a very great imposition, and I think it is a pity if it is allowed to go on. I have seen too many Indians to be deceived about them. I was at Bombay six years, and after that at Calcutta long enough to know what an Indian is. I know that their hair is always long and black, and not red: I know that these men are Irishmen, and painted up in this manner to gull the public. There’s one of those fellows I know very well—I have seen him these three years at work in M'Gill’s carpenter’s shop, and saw him there but a few days ago; so I pronounce them but a raw set, as well as impostors!”
When he sat down I prevented the audience from making any further noise than merely laughing, which was excessive all over the room. I said that “to contradict this gentleman would only be to repeat what I had said, and I hoped at least he would remain in the room a few minutes until they would execute one of their dances, that he might give his opinion as to my skill in teaching ’raw recruits’ as he called them.” The Indians, who had been smoking their pipes all this time without knowing what the delay had been about, now sprang upon their feet and commenced the war-dance; all further thoughts of “imposition” and “raw recruits” were lost sight of here and for the rest of the evening. When their dance was done they received a tremendous roar of applause, and after resting a few minutes the Doctor was on his feet, and evidently trying very hard in a speech to make a sensation (as he had made on the first night in London) among the ladies. Jeffrey interpreted his speech; and although it made much amusement, and was applauded, still it fell very far short of what his eloquence and his quizzical smiles and wit had done on the former occasion. Being apprehensive also of Jim’s cruel sarcasms when he should stop, and apparently in hopes, too, of still saying something more witty, he, unfortunately for its whole effect, continued to speak a little too long after he had said his best things; so he sat down (though in applause) rather dissatisfied with himself, and seemed for some time in a sort of study, as if he was trying to recollect what he had said, a peculiarity possibly belonging to Indian orators.
When the Doctor had finished, all arose at the sound of the war-whoop given by the War-chief, and they gave with unusual spirit the discovery dance, and after that their favourite, the eagle dance. The finish of this exciting dance brought rounds of deafening applause and “bravo!” in the midst of which the War-chief arose, and, throwing his buffalo robe around him, said,—
“My friends—We see that we are in a new city, a strange place to us, but that we are not amongst enemies, and this gives us great pleasure. (‘How, how, how!’ and ‘Hear, hear.’)
“My friends—It gives me pleasure to see so many smiling faces about us, for we know that when you smile you are not angry; we think you are amused with our dancing. It is the custom in our country always to thank the Great Spirit first. He has been kind to us, and our hearts are thankful that he has allowed us to reach your beautiful city, and to be with you to-night. (‘How, how, how!’)
“My friends—Our modes of dancing are different from yours, and you see we don’t come to teach you to dance, but merely to show you how the poor Indians dance. We are told that you have your dancing-masters; but the Great Spirit taught us, and we think we should not change our mode. (‘How, how, how!’)
“My friends—The interpreter has told us that some one in the room has said we were not Indians—that we were Irishmen! Now we are not in any way angry with this man; if we were Irishmen, we might be perhaps. (‘Hear, hear.’ ‘Bravo!’)