[64] Dr. Wordsworth has cited a passage from Sir Thomas More, in his Dialogue of Comfort against Tribulation, in which is a lively and characteristic picture, “designed, no doubt, to represent the cardinal at the head of his own table.” I could not refuse myself the pleasure of laying it before the reader.
“Anthony. I praye you, cosyn, tell on. Vincent. Whan I was fyrste in Almaine, uncle, it happed me to be somewhat favoured with a great manne of the churche, and a great state, one of the greatest in all that country there. And in dede whosoever might spende as muche as hee mighte in one thinge and other, were a ryght great estate in anye countrey of Christendom. But glorious was hee verye farre above all measure, and that was great pitie, for it dyd harme, and made him abuse many great gyftes that God hadde given him. Never was he saciate of hearinge his owne prayse.
So happed it one daye, that he had in a great audience made an oracion in a certayne matter, wherein he liked himselfe so well, that at his diner he sat, him thought, on thornes, tyll he might here how they that sat with hym at his borde, woulde commend it. And whan hee had sitte musing a while, devysing, as I thought after, uppon some pretty proper waye to bring it in withal, at the laste, for lacke of a better, lest he should have letted the matter too long, he brought it even blontly forth, and asked us al that satte at his bordes end (for at his owne messe in the middes there sat but himself alone) howe well we lyked his oracyon that he hadde made that daye. But in fayth Uncle, whan that probleme was once proponed, till it was full answered, no manne (I wene) eate one morsell of meate more. Every manne was fallen in so depe a studye, for the fyndynge of some exquisite prayse. For he that shoulde have brought oute but a vulgare and a common commendacion, woulde have thoughte himself shamed for ever. Than sayde we our sentences by rowe as wee sat, from the lowest unto the hyghest in good order, as it had bene a great matter of the comon weale, in a right solemne counsayle. Whan it came to my parte, I wyll not saye it, Uncle, for no boaste, mee thoughte, by oure Ladye, for my parte, I quytte my selfe metelye wel. And I lyked my selfe the better beecause mee thoughte my wordes beeinge but a straungyer, wente yet with some grace in the Almain tong wherein lettyng my latin alone me listed to shewe my cunnyng, and I hoped to be lyked the better, because I sawe that he that sate next mee, and should saie his sentence after mee, was an unlearned Prieste, for he could speake no latin at all. But whan he came furth for hys part with my Lordes commendation, the wyly Fox, hadde be so well accustomed in courte with the crafte of flattry that he wente beyonde me to farre.
And that might I see by hym, what excellence a right meane witte may come to in one crafte, that in al his whole life studyeth and busyeth his witte about no mo but that one. But I made after a solempne vowe unto my selfe, that if ever he and I were matched together at that boarde agayne: when we should fall to our flattrye, I would flatter in latin, that he should not contende with me no more. For though I could be contente to be out runne by an horse, yet would I no more abyde it to be out runne of an asse. But Uncle, here beganne nowe the game, he that sate hygheste, and was to speake, was a great beneficed man, and not a Doctour onely, but also somewhat learned in dede in the lawes of the Churche. A worlde it was to see howe he marked every mannes worde that spake before him. And it semed that every worde the more proper it was, the worse he liked it, for the cumbrance that he had to study out a better to passe it. The manne even swette with the laboure, so that he was faine in the while now and than to wipe his face. Howbeit in conclusion whan it came to his course, we that had spoken before him, hadde so taken up al among us before, that we hadde not lefte hym one wye worde to speake after.
Anthony. Alas good manne! amonge so manye of you, some good felow shold have lente hym one. Vincent. It needed not as happe was Uncle. For he found out such a shift, that in hys flatteryng he passed us all the mayny. Anthony. Why, what sayde he Cosyn? Vyncent. By our Ladye Uncle not one worde. But lyke as I trow Plinius telleth, that whan Appelles the Paynter in the table that he paynted of the sacryfyce and the death of Iphigenia, hadde in the makynge of the sorowefull countenances of the other noble menne of Greece that beehelde it, spente oute so much of his craft and hys cunnynge, that whan he came to make the countenance of King Agamemnon her father, whiche hee reserved for the laste, ... he could devise no maner of newe heavy chere and countenance—but to the intent that no man should see what maner countenance it was, that her father hadde, the paynter was fayne to paynte hym, holdyng his face in his handkercher. The like pageant in a maner plaide us there this good aunciente honourable flatterer. For whan he sawe that he coulde fynde no woordes of prayse, that woulde passe al that hadde bene spoken before all readye, the wyly Fox woulde speake never a word, but as he that were ravished unto heavenwarde with the wonder of the wisdom and eloquence that my Lordes Grace hadde uttered in that oracyon, he fette a long syghe with an Oh! from the bottome of hys breste, and helde uppe bothe hys handes, and lyfte uppe bothe his handes and lift uppe his head, and caste up his eyen into the welkin and wepte. Anthony. Forsooth Cosyn, he plaide his parte verye properlye. But was that greate Prelates oracion Cosyn, any thyng prayseworthye?” Sir Thomas More’s Works, p. 1221, 1222.
[65] i.e. haughty.
[66] June 1513.
[67] 100 crowns a day.
[68] “Heaven and happiness eternal is τὸ ξητόυμενον, that which is joined in issue, to which we are intituled, for which we plead, to which we have right; from whence by injury and treachery we have been ejected, and from whence by fine force we are kept out: for this we do clamare, by the Clergy, our Counsel, in the view of God and Angels.” Montague’s Diatribe upon Selden’s History of Tithes, p. 130. W.
[69] He was consecrated bishop of Lincoln, March 26, A. D. 1514. Le Neve’s Fasti, p. 141. W.