I doubted:—Fool I was to doubt!
If that all-piercing Eye could see,—
If He who looks all Worlds throughout,
Would so minute and careful be,
As to perceive and punish me:—
With Man I would be great and high,
But with my God so lost, that He,
In his large View, should pass me by.
Thus blest with Children, Friend, and Wife,
Blest far beyond the vulgar Lot;
Of all that gladdens human Life,
Where was the Good, that I had not?
But my vile Heart had sinful Spot,
And Heaven beheld its deep’ning Stain,
Eternal Justice I forgot,
And Mercy, sought not to obtain.
Come near,—- I’ll softly speak the rest!—
Alas! ’tis known to all the Crowd,
Her guilty Love was all confest;
And his, who so much Truth avow’d,
My faithless Friends.—In Pleasure proud
I sat, when these curs’d Tidings came;
Their Guilt, their Flight was told aloud,
And Envy smil’d to hear my shame!
I call’d on Vengeance; at the Word
She came:—Can I the Deed forget?
I held the Sword, th’ accursed Sword,
The Blood of his false Heart made wet;
And that fair Victim paid her Debt,
She pin’d, she died, she loath’d to live;—
I saw her dying—see her yet:
Fair fallen Thing! my Rage forgive!
Those Cherubs still, my Life to bless,
Were left; could I my Fears remove,
Sad Fears that check’d each fond Caress,
And poison’d all parental Love:
Yet that, with jealous Feelings strove,
And would at last have won my Will,
Had I not, Wretch! been doom’d to prove
Th’ Extremes of mortal Good and Ill.
In Youth! Health! Joy! in Beauty’s Pride!
They droop’d: As Flowers when blighted bow,
The dire Infection came:—They died,
And I was curs’d—as I am now——
Nay frown not, angry Friend,—allow,
That I was deeply, sorely tried;
Hear then, and you must wonder how
I could such Storms and Strifes abide.
Storms!—not that Clouds embattled make,
When they afflict this earthly Globe;
But such as with their Terrors shake
Man’s Breast, and to the bottom probe;
They make the Hypocrite disrobe,
They try us all, if false or true;
For this, one Devil had pow’r on Job;
And I was long the Slave of two.
PHYSICIAN.
Peace, peace, my Friend; these Subjects fly;
Collect thy Thoughts—go calmly on.—
PATIENT.