Second Edition of A Discovery Concerning Ghosts / With a Rap at the "Spirit-Rappers"

by George Cruikshank

In the year 1828, a work was published, entitled "Past Feelings Renovated; or, Ideas occasioned by the perusal of Dr. Hibbert's Philosophy of Apparitions," which the author says were "written with the view of counteracting any sentiments approaching materialism, which that work, however unintentional on the part of the author, may have a tendency to produce." The author of "Past Feelings Renovated" is a firm believer in apparitions, who generally "come in their habits as they lived;" and in his preface he says, "The general tendency of Dr. Hibbert's work, and evident fallacy of many of the arguments in support of opinions too nearly approaching 'materialism,' induced me to give the subject that serious consideration which it imperatively demands."

This author, it will be perceived, is very much opposed to anything like "materialism" in relation to this question, and is strongly in favour of "spiritualism," but will he be so good as to tell us what "a pair of Buckskins" are made of? and what a pair of Top-boots are made of? and whether these materials are spiritualized by any process, or whether THE CLOTHES WE WEAR ON OUR BODIES BECOME A PART AND PARCEL OF OUR SOULS? And as it is clearly impossible for spirits to wear dresses made of the materials of the earth, we should like to know if there are spiritual-outfitting shops for the clothing of ghosts who pay visits on earth, and if empty, haunted houses are used for this purpose, in the same way as the establishments, and after the manner of "Moses and Son," or "Hyam Brothers," or such like houses of business, or if so, then there must be also the spirit of woollen cloth, the spirit of leather, the spirit of a coat, the spirit of boots and shoes. There must also be the spirit of trousers, spirits of gaiters, waistcoats, neckties, spirits of buckles, for shoes and knees; spirit of buttons, "bright gilt buttons;" spirits of hats, caps, bonnets, gowns, and petticoats; spirits of hoops and crinoline, and ghost's stockings. Yes; only think of the ghosts of stockings, but if the ghost of a lady had to make her appearance here, she could not present herself before company without her shoes and stockings, so there must be

GHOSTS OF STOCKINGS.

Most persons will surely feel some hesitation in accepting the assertions made by Defoe, that ghosts appear in clothes that have been cut up, or distributed in different places, or destroyed, or that they come in the same garments that are being worn at the same moment by living persons, or which are at the time of appearing, in wardrobes or old clothes shops; or, perhaps, thousands of miles away from the spot where the ghost pays his unwelcome visit, or worn or torn into rags, and stuck upon a broomstick "to frighten away the crows." No, no, I think we may rest assured that ghosts could not appear in these dresses, or shreds and patches; in fact, that they could not show themselves in any dress made of the materials of the earth as already suggested; and, therefore, if they did wear any dresses they must have been composed of a spiritual material, if it be possible to unite, in any way, two such opposites. Then comes the question, from whence is this spiritual material obtained, and also if there are spirit manufactories, spirit weavers and spinners, and spirit tanners and "tan pits?"

If this be so, then there must, of course, be ghost tailors, working with ghosts of needles (how sharp they must be!), and ghosts of threads (and how fine they must be!), and the ghost of a "sleeve board," and the ghost of the iron, which the tailors use to flatten the seams, called a "goose" (only think of the ghost of a tailor's "goose!") Then there must be the ghost of a "bootmaker," with the ghost of a "lapstone," and a "last," and the spirit of "cobbler's wax!" Ghost of "button makers," "wig makers," and "hatters;" and, indeed, of every trade necessary to fit out a ghost, either lady or gentleman, in order to make it appear that they really did appear "in their habits as they lived."

There are, I know, many respectable worthy persons even at the present day who believe they sometimes see apparitions, and I would here take the liberty to advise such persons to ponder a little upon the above remarks relative to the clothing of spirits, and, when again they think they see a GHOST, recollect that with the exception of the face and a little bit of the neck perhaps, and also the hands, if without gloves, that all the other parts are CLOTHES. And I would also take the liberty to suggest that he should ask the ghost these questions:—"Who's your tailor?" and "Who's your hatter?"

Whatever the belief of the "Bard of Avon" might have been with respect to ghosts, it is quite clear that in these cases he was merely exercising his great poetical talent to work out the several points of popular belief in apparitions, for the purpose of producing a striking "stage effect;" but all that he brings forward, goes to prove the long-established faith in these aërial beings, and the general and almost universal requisites of character and costume. But it probably never entered the great mind of this great poet that there could be no such thing as a ghost of iron, for if it had, he would, no doubt, have dressed up the ghost of Hamlet's father in some sort of suit rather more aërial than a suit of steel armour. There may be "more things 'twixt heaven and earth" than were dreamt of in Horatio's philosophy; but the ghost of Iron armour could not be one of these things, be included in the list, and on reverting to this ghost, the reader will observe that I have given no figure in that suit of armour, and no head to the figure of Napoleon the First, and for this reason, the art of drawing, you will please to observe, is a severe critical test in matters of this sort. For suppose an artist is employed to make a drawing of this ghost of Hamlet's father, he will begin, or ought to begin, first to sketch out, very lightly, the size and attitude of the figure required; then suppose he makes out the face; and then begins to work on the helmet, but here he stops—why? because if he has any thought, he will say this is not spirit, this is manufactured iron! And so with the other parts of the figure, all except the face is material; and then to my old enemy in one sense, and friend in another—Napoleon, for I volunteered, and armed myself to assist to keep him from coming over here before I was twenty years of age; and as a caricaturist, what by turning him, sometimes into ridicule, and sometimes, in fact very often I may say, killing him with my sharp etching needle, "little Boney" used very frequently to give me a good solid bit of meat, and make my "pot boil." But with respect to this headless figure, if the artist is requested to make a drawing of the spirit of this great general, he would, after making out the face, begin with the collar of the coat, and then stop—and why? Because the coat is no part of a spirit, and if the whole of the figure were finished with the face in, what would that be but the spirit of the face of Napoleon; all the rest would consist of a cocked-hat, with tricolored cockade; a military coat, with buttons; a waistcoat, a sword and sash, leather gloves, and leather pantaloons, jack-boots, and spurs! Are, or can these things be spiritual? If the end of the finger is placed over the space which is left for the face of Napoleon, the figure will be recognized as his without the head; and so with Hamlet's father, place the end of the finger in front of the helmet, and the armour will pass for the ghost; and do the like with the figure of Daniel Lambert, put the head out of sight, all the rest is neck-handkerchief, a bit of shirt, a coat, a waistcoat, a pair of gloves, small clothes (not very small by the by), an immense pair of stockings, and the points of a pair of shoes; and as to the headless ghost of the gentleman in the blue coat and gilt buttons, that is also NOTHING BUT A SUIT OF CLOTHES.

The reader will recollect that Daniel Defoe, Mrs. Crowe, and Mr. Owen, and other authors have all introduced GHOSTS OF WIGS amongst their facts, in support of spiritual apparitions, so if there are ghosts of "wigs," there must also be GHOSTS OF "PIGTAILS," because they were sometimes a part of a wig; and in taking leave of the reader, I take the liberty of introducing a ghost of a wig and pigtail, who will make a polite bow for the humble author and artist of this "DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS."