No wonder then if the "life sphere" and "the atmosphere" of the "light-headed," "light-heeled," who "permeate their wills" into this otherwise inanimate object, should all of a sudden "set the table in a roar," and "rap out their rappartees," and that "the head of the table" should bob up and down, so as to make the people stare, either standing around or stuck in a chair, and that the legs all so clumsy, should caper and dance and kick up in the air, to the tune of "Well did you ever!" and "Well I declare!" !!!
This cabinet of mine is filled with the spirited works of departed spirits, including some of my dear father's humorous works, also of the great Hogarth, the great Gilray, and other masters, ancient and modern; the mediums would, I suppose, say—
That when this cabinet begins a "crack"[8] ] or creaking,
It is these sprites of art, who thus to me are speaking.
And as one of the panels was split some years back, the mediums would perhaps suggest that these "droll spirits" made the cabinet "split its sides with laughter," but I know it was the hot air of a hot summer, and certainly not done by a drum or a drummer—that this "splitting" or "flying," only shows the force of the common air, and I hope adds to the force of my argument in this respect, and further, of this I feel assured, that if I were to "clear the decks for action," bring this cabinet out into the middle of my studio, and could induce some of the lady and gentlemen "mediums" to come and form a "circle," and clap their hands on and around this piece of furniture, that, although Monsieur Cabinet has no "light fantastic toe," that he would nevertheless join in the merry dance, and cut some curious capers on his castors, and even "beat time" perhaps with his curious creaks and cracks. By the by, glass being a non-conductor, a table made of glass, would at once settle this question, as to whether the tables are moved by electric currents or not.
I am now about to suggest what I feel assured every one will admit to be a grand idea, and which would be to make these spirits useful in a way that would be highly appreciated and patronized by the public, and put all the "fortune-tellers" and "rulers of the stars" out of the field altogether, and perhaps even damage the "electric wires" a little. It is to establish a company, to be entitled, "The Human Question and Spirit Answer Company!" The principal "capital" to work upon, would be the overpowering principle of curiosity; in this case, instead of having a "chair-man," they would, I suppose, have a table-man; if so, then Homo would be the man, and of this company it never could be said, that they had not a rap at their bankers.
"Limited," of course, but the business would be un-limited, with profits, corresponding; branch question and answer offices, branching out all over the globe, with "letter-boxes" and "chatter-boxes". If the business of such offices were worked and carried out in a "proper spirit," it would assuredly be "a success." I am supposing, of course, that these spirits will be able to "tell us something we don't know," for up to the present time it does not appear that they have told anything to us that we could not have told them, and in a more common sense and grammatical style than most of the communications which they have "rapped out," but if there are any real, great, and good spirits amongst these gammocking table-turners, they must, one would suppose, know all about everything and everybody, and everybody would be asking questions, and if so, "Oh, my!" what a lot of funny questions there would be! and what a lot of funny answers! (all "private and confidential," of course) as nobody would be sure not to tell nobody any secrets that nobody wanted anybody to know.
Under ordinary circumstances I am not at all what might be called a curious person, but although I should (like other people) like to know how certain matters might turn out, and although I should never think of asking a "fortune-teller" or of consulting the gentry who profess to "rule the stars," yet if such a company as this were started, I feel that I should be compelled to start off to the first office I could get to, for the purpose of putting two or three questions, to which I want immediate answers if it were possible, and should not mind paying something extra for favourable answers. I will here just give a specimen of some of these questions.
Some literary gentleman and others belonging to the "Urban Club," and also some members of the "Dramatic Authors'" Society, have formed themselves in a committee (upon which they have done me the honour to place my name), for the purpose of setting on foot and assisting to raise a fund, if possible, to erect a monument in honour of William Shakspeare, as the 23rd of April, 1864, will be the ter-centenary of that poet's birthday. Another committee for the same purpose is also in formation, and the two committees will either amalgamate or work together. I have suggested to the first committee that in order to assist the funds for the above-mentioned purpose, that a notice be sent out to the public to this effect—that all persons having any works of art, either paintings, drawings, or sculpture, should be invited and respectfully requested to lend such works to a committee of artists, to form a gallery or national collection illustrating this author's works, to be called "The Shakspeare Exhibition," and in which designs for the said monument could also be exhibited. The question, therefore, I would put to the spirits through the proper medium would be this, viz.—If such invitations were sent out, would the holders of such works lend them for the purpose of thus being placed before the public? And further—If the Government were applied to, would they "lend the loan" of a proper and fitting building to exhibit the various works in? And a little further, and "though last not least," would the nobility and gentry, and the public at large, patronize such an exhibition largely, and what the receipts would amount to? I should like to have all this answered, and that at an early day. But as it may be a long day, before such a company could get into working order, and as the members of the public press are a good-natured, shrewd class of spirits—if the idea is worth anything, they would most likely take it up, and I should be as much pleased to get an answer through that medium as any other that I know of.
There are several other questions which I should put to this "Spirit Answer Company" if it were started, and which I feel that I could not well put to any one else, as I do not think that any body would give themselves the trouble to give me an answer; and it is not every body who could give me satisfactory answers, however much they might feel disposed to do so. I enumerate two or three.