"However, the man-o'-war bird took offer of the next swell to get air in his wings, and rose off the heave of it with a sharp bit of a scream, away after some black boobies diving for fish, which no doubt he would catch, as they dropped them at sight of him.
"The mate upon this started and looked round, then aloft. 'Confound it!' said he to himself, 'if this breeze would only freshen! There is a sort of set on the surface just now,' continued he to me, coolly enough, 'though how you idlers happened to have an idea of it puzzles me, unless because you've nothing else to do but watch the water. Currents are pretty frequent hereabouts, however.' 'Dear me!' said I, 'but if we should——' 'Stuff, sir!' said he, quickly, 'the coast here must be steep-to enough, I should think, since if it weren't for the haze, we'd have sighted it thirty miles off! What we want is wind—wind, to let's cross it.' 'But then a calm, Mr Finch,' I said; 'I'm hanged afraid of those calms!' 'Well, well, sir,' said he, not liking just to shake me off at once, after my proving less of a ninny in sea matters than he had supposed, 'these long currents never set right ashore; even if we lose the wind, as we may soon, why, she'll take off into the eddy seaward, sir, if you must know—the dead-water in-shore, and the ebb-tide, always give it a safe turn!'
"All this, of course, was as much to satisfy himself as me. 'Well, that's delightful,' said I, as if quite contented, and Mr Finch walked away hastily down one of the poop-ladders, no doubt glad to get rid of me in a decent manner, though I saw him next minute glancing in at the compass-boxes.
"'Keep her up to her course, sirrah; luff, d'ye hear,' said he to Jacobs, who was, perhaps, the best helmsman aboard. 'She falls off tremendous bad, sir,' answered Jacobs, with another whirl of the spokes; her want of actual headway making the Indiaman sag dead away to leeward, as she shoved into the force of the sea-stream, running more and more direct upon her starboard bow. One minute the courses would sink in with a long sighing fall to the lower-masts, the next her topsails would flutter almost aback, and the heat even in the shadow of her awnings was extreme, yet she still seemed to have a breeze through the white glare aloft. I was determined to bring things to a point somehow or other, so I followed the mate down the steps. 'Oh, by-the-by, Mr Finch!' said I eagerly, 'suppose one of those dreadful—what do you call 'em?—ah, tornadoes—were to come on! I understand this is just the way, near Africa—baffling breeze—heat suffocating—hazy atmosphere—long swell—and current rising to the surface!'
"At this Finch stood up in a perfect fury. 'What the devil d'ye mean, sir,' said he, 'by dodging me about the decks in this fashion, with these infernally foolish questions of yours?' 'Oh, my fine fellow,' thought I, 'you shall settle with me for that.' 'Tornadoes never blow hereabouts, except off-shore, if you must know, sir!' he rapped out, sticking his hands in his jacket-pockets as he said so, and taking a turn on the quarter-deck. 'That's quite a mistake, I assure you, sir!' said I, carried away with the spirit of the thing; 'I've seen the contrary fifty times over, and, from the look of the sky aloft just now, I'd bet——' Here I stopped, recollected myself, put the top of my cane in my mouth, and peered under the awning at the sea with my eyes half-shut, as sleepily as usual with my messmates the cadets. The chief officer, however, stepped back in surprise, eyed me sharply, and seemed struck with a sudden thought. 'Why, sir,' said he, rather anxiously, 'who may—what can you know of the matter?' 'Pooh!' replied I, seeing some of the passengers were coming on deck, 'I'm only of an inquiring turn of mind! You seafaring persons, Mr Finch, think we can't get any of that kind of knowledge on land; but if you look into Johnson's Dictionary, why, you'll find the whole thing under the word Tornado: 'twas one of the pieces I'd to get by heart before they'd admit me into our yacht-club—along with Falconer's Shipwreck, you know!' 'Indeed!' said the mate, slowly, with a curl of his lip, and overhauling me from head to foot and up again; 'ah, indeed! That was the way, was it, sir?' I saw 'twas no use. I daresay he caught the twinkle in my eye; while Jacobs' face, behind him, was like the knocker on a door with trying to screw it tight over his quid, and stuffing the knot of his neckerchief in his mouth.
"'Of course, sir,' answered I, letting my voice fall; 'and the long and the short of it is, Mr Finch, the sooner you get your ship out of this current the better! And what's more, sir, I daresay I could tell you how!'
"Whether he was waiting for what I'd to say, or thinking of something just occurred to him, was doubtful: he still gazed steadily at me, without saying a word; so I went on. 'You must know I had an old uncle who was long in His Majesty's Royal Navy, and if there was one point he was crazy upon, 'twas just this very matter of currents—though, for my part, Mr Finch, I really never understood what he meant till I made a voyage. He used to tell my mother, poor woman—who always fancied they had somewhat to do with puddings—that he'd seen no less than half-a-dozen ships go on shore, owing to currents. Now, Jane, he'd say, when you're fairly in a current, never you try to cross out of it, as folks often do, against the run of it, for in that case, unless the wind's strong enough, why, instead of striking the eddy to take your craft right off-shore, it'll just set you over and over to the inside. You'll cross, in the end, no doubt—but ten to one it's exactly where the water begins to shoal; whereas, the right plan's as simple as daylight, and that's why so few know it! Look ye, he'd say, always you cross with the stream—no matter though your head seems to make landward; why, the fact is, it'll just set you outside of itself, clear into its own bight, when you can run off to seaward with the eddy, if ye choose. That's the way to cross a current, my uncle used to say, provided you've but a light wind for handling her with! Now, Mr Finch,' added I, coolly, and still mouthing my stick as before—for I couldn't help wishing to give the conceited fellow a rub, while I lent him a hint—'for my own part, I can't know much of these things, but it does seem to me as if my uncle's notions pretty well suited the case in hand!'
"Finch was too much of a fair seaman not to catch my drift at once, but in too great a passion to own it at the time. 'D'ye think, sir,' said he, with a face like fire, 'so much sense as there is in this long rigmarole of yours, that I'm such a—that's to say, that I didn't know it before, sir? But what I've got to do with you, Mr Collinson, or whatever your name may be—you may have been at sea twenty years, for aught I care—but I'd like to know why you come aboard here, and give yourself out for as raw a greenhorn as ever touched ropes with a kid glove?' 'Well, Mr Finch,' said I, 'and what's that to you, if I choose to be as green as the North Sea whaling-ground?' 'Why, sir,' said Finch, working himself up, 'you're devilish cunning, no doubt, but perhaps you're not aware that a passenger under a false rig, in an Indiaman, may be clapped in limbo, if the captain thinks fit? Who and what are you, I ask?—some runaway master's mate, I suppose, unless you've got something deeper in hand! Perhaps,' ended he, with a sneer, 'a pickpocket in disguise?' 'Sir,' said I, getting up off the bulwark I'd been leaning upon, 'at present I choose to be a cadet, but at any rate, you shall make an apology for what you said just now, sir!' 'Apology!' said the mate turning on his heel, 'I shan't do anything of the sort! You may be thankful, in the meantime, if I don't have you locked up below, that's all! Perhaps, by-the-by, sir, all you wanted was to show off your seamanship before the young lady in the round-house there?' Here the glance the fellow gave me was enough to show he knew pretty well, all the while, what we were matched against each other for.
"I could stand this no longer, of course; but, seeing that one or two of the passengers were noticing us from the poop, I looked as polite as is possible to do when you've lost your temper; and, in fact, the whole disappointment of this hair-brained cruise of mine—not to speak of a few things one had to stand—carried me away at the moment. There was no scheme I wouldn't rather have been suspected of, by this time, than the real one—namely, having gone in chase of Violet Hyde. I took a card out of my pocket and handed it quietly to Mr Finch. 'You don't seem able to name me, sir,' said I. 'However, I give you my word, you may trust that bit of pasteboard for it; and as I take you to be a gentleman by your place in this ship, why, I shall expect the satisfaction one gentleman should give another, the first time we get ashore, although it should be to-morrow morning! And, by Jove!' thought I, 'I hope I'm done with the most foolish trick ever a fellow played himself! The man that ventures to call me green again, or look at me as if he wanted to cool his eyes, hang me if he shan't answer for it! As for a woman,' thought I, but, oh, those two blue eyes yonder—confound it! as I caught sight of a white muslin skirt in the shade of the poop-awning above.
"I must say, for Finch, he took my last move coolly enough, turning round to give me another look, after glancing at the card. 'Indeed!' said he, as if rather surprised; 'well, sir, I'm your man for that, though it can't be just as soon as to-morrow morning! A Company's officer may meet a lieutenant in the Navy any time—ay, and take his ship off the land too, I hope, sir!' and with that he walked off forward. 'Lieutenant!' said I to myself; 'how did he give me my commission so pat, I wonder?' and I pulled out another card, when I found, to my great annoyance, that in my hurry that morning I had happened to put on a coat of Westwood's by mistake, and instead of plain 'Mr Collins,' they were all 'Lieutenant Westwood, R.N.' 'Here's another confounded mess!' thought I, 'and all will be blown in the end!' However, on second thoughts, the notion struck me, that, by sticking to the name, as I must do now at any rate, why, I should keep Westwood clear of all scrapes, which, in his case, might be disagreeable enough; whereas, at present, he was known only as the Reverend Mr Thomas—and, as for his either shamming the griffin, or giving hints how to work the ship, he was one of those men you'd scarce know for a sailor, by aught in his manner, at least: and, indeed, Tom Westwood always seemed to need a whole frigate's ways about him, with perhaps somewhat of a stir, to show what he really was.