[Original]
But his empty quart bottles, with “their necks downwards,” produced him not the price of a full one; his glass globe Louis Ragout valued not the straw that stood erect upon it; and his nose, sustaining on its tip a sharp-pointed sword, put not a morsel into his mouth; so that, finding his wire and trade equally slack, and that he could balance everything but his accounts, he took his French boots and French leave; left his board for his lodging, and his chair for his cheer, hoping to experience better luck at Bartholomew Fair! Posture-master Phillips, * pupil of Joseph Clarke, ** exercises his crooked calling, and becomes hunch-backed, pot-bellied, sharpbreasted, and crippled disjointing arms, shoulders, and legs, and twisting his supple limbs into bows and double knots!
* “August 23, 1749, a gallery in Phillips's booth broke
down. F our persons were killed and several wounded.”
** Clarke, who lived in the reigns of King James II. and
King William, was a terrible torment to his tailors; for
when one came to measure him, he contrived to have an
enormous hump on his left shoulder, and when the coat was
tried on, it had shifted to his right I The tailor
apologized for his blunder, took home the garment, altered
it, returned, and again attempted to make it fit, when, to
his astonishment and dismay, he found his queer customer as
straight as an arrow! A legion of tailors came to Adonize
him, but he puzzled them all.
Hans Buling * displays his monkey's humours, and his own. The Auctioneer of Moorfields ** transfers his book-stall to the cloisters. “Poor Will Ellis” offers for sale his simple “effigie.” ***
* A well-known charlatan, who advertised his nostrums,
attended by a monkey.
** This grave-looking, spectacled personage, in a rare print
by Sutton Nieholls, stands at his book-stall in Moorfields,
puffing the contents of his sale catalogue, among which are
“The History of Theves;” “English Rogue;” “Aristotle's
Masterpiece and “Poems by Rochester
“Come, sirs, and view this famous library,
'Tis pity learning shou'd discouraged be.
Here's bookes (that is, if they were but well sold)
I will maintain't are worth their weight in gold.
Then bid apace, and break me out of hand;
Ne'er cry you don't the subject understand:
For this, I'll say, howe'er the case may hit,
Whoever buys of me,—I teach'em wit.”
*** Sitting on the railings in Moorfields. Beneath are some
lines, giving an account how “Bedlam became his sad portion
and lot for the love of Dear Betty.” Coming to his senses,
he turned poet:—
“Now innocent poetry 's all my delight;
And I hope that you'll all be so kind as to buy't:
That poor Will Ellis, when laid in his tomb,
May be stuck in your closet, or hung in your room.”
