"Been dancin' at all?"

"Dancin'? Not I! Catch me dancin' in a house where there ain't a smokin'-room! I'm off, directly!"


UNCONSCIOUS CYNICISM

She.—"It's such years since we met that perhaps you never heard of my marriage?"

He.—"No, indeed! Is it—er—recent enough for congratulations?"


UNLUCKY SPEECHES

She.—"What a disagreeable thing that insomnia must be! Very trying, I think! Do you ever suffer from it, Captain Spinks?"

He.—"Oh, dear, no. I can sleep anywhere, at any time! Could go off this moment, I assure you ...!"