DISAPPOINTMENTS OF LION-HUNTING
Guardsman (gazing at the motley throng).—"Any great literary or scientific celebrities here to-night, Lady Circe?"
Lady Circe (who has taken to hunting Lions).—"No, Sir Charles. The worst of celebrities in these democratic days is that they won't come unless you ask their wives and families, too! So I ask the wives and families, and the wives and families come in their thousands, if you please, and the celebrities stay at home and go to bed."
TWO ON A TOWER
Jones (a rising young British architect).—"Yes; it's a charming old castle you've bought, Mrs. Prynne, and I heartily congratulate you on being its possessor!"
Fair California Widow (just settled in the old country).—"Thanks. And now you must find me a legend for it, Mr. Jones!"
Jones.—"I'm afraid I can't manage that; but I could add a story, if that will do as well!"
AT THE ZOO
Tommy.—"Why don't they have little shut-up houses? Why do they have open bars?"
Dorothy (who knows everything).—"Oh! that's for them to see the people, of course!"