SPEECHES ONE HAS TO LIVE DOWN

Hostess.—"So sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Green."

Visitor.—"Oh, don't mention it. The anticipation, you know, is always so much brighter than the reality."


TOO CONSIDERATE

Mrs. Brown.—"Oh, Mrs. Smith, do have that sweet baby of yours brought down to show my husband. He's never seen it."

Mr. Brown.—"Oh, pray, don't trouble on my account."


THINGS ONE WOULD HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY

Genial Hostess.—"What, going already, Professor?... And must you take your wife away with you?"

The Professor (with grave politeness).—"Indeed, madam, I am sorry to say I MUST!"