TAKING ONE TOO MUCH AT ONE'S WORD
Hostess.—"Won't you play us something, Mr. Spinks?"
Musical Amateur (who thinks a good deal of himself, in spite of his modesty).—"Oh, don't ask me—you are all such first-rate performers here—and you play such good music, too."
Hostess.—"Well, but we like a little variety, you know."
THE ENGLISH TAKE THEIR PLEASURES SADLY
A DAUGHTER OF HETH
Lionel.—"Oh, I say, Benjamin! how splendid your wife is looking! She pays for dressing, if you like!"
Benjamin.—"Does she, my boy? I only wish she did!"