II.
It's oondervul to me how thengs do move about whenever a body's got a drap o' zummut in's yead. Last harrest, a'ter zupper, at th' house yander, I walked whoam by myzelf, and zeed the moon and the zeven stars dancin' away like vengeance. Then they girt elmen trees in the close was a dancin' away like Bill Iles and his mates at a morris. 'My zarvice to 'e,' zays I; 'I haups you won't tread on my twoes;' zo I went drough a sheard in th' hedge, instead o' goin' drough th' geat. Well, when I got whoam, I managed to vind the kay-hole o' th' doower—but 'twas a lang time afore I could get un to bide still enough,—and got up stayers. Massy upon us! the leetle table (I zeed un very plain by the light o' th' moon) was runnin' round th' room like mad, and there was th' two owld chayers runnin' a'ter he, and by and by, round comes the bed a'ter they two. 'Ha! ha!' zays I, 'that's very vine; but how be I to lay down while you cuts zich capers?' Well, the bed comed round dree times, and the vowerth time I drowd myzelf flump atop ov un; but in th' marnin' I vound myzelf laying on the vloor, wi' ael me duds on! I never could make out this.
III.
I've allus bin as vlush o' money as a twoad is o' veathers; but, if ever I gets rich, I'll put it ael in Ziszeter bank, and not do as owld Smith, the miller, did, comin' whoam vrom market one nite. Martal avraid o' thieves a was, zo a puts his pound-bills and ael th' money a'd a got about un, in a hole in the wall, and the next marnin' a' couldn't remember whereabouts 'twas, and had to pull purty nigh a mile o' wall down before a' could vind it. Stoopid owld wosbird!
IV.
Owld Jan Wilkins used to zay he allus cut's stakes when a went a hedgin', too lang; bekaze a' cou'd easily cut 'em sharter if a wanted, but a' cou'dn't make um langer if 'em was cut too shart. Zo zays I; zo I allus axes vor more than I wants. Iv I gets that, well and good; but if I axes vor little, and gets less, it's martal akkerd to ax a zecond time, d'ye kneow!
V.
Maester Tharne used to zay as how more vlies was cot wi' zugar or honey than wi' vinegar, and that even a body's enemies med be gammoned wi' vine words. Jim Pinniger zeemed to thenk zo too, when a run agin the jackass one dark night. Jem tuk th' beawst vor th' devil, and cot un by th' ear. 'Zaat's yer harn, zur' (Soft's your horn, sir), zays Jem.
VI.
Old Iles was drunk vor dree days together last Lammas, and a laid down by the doower, and wanted zomebody to hauld un. When they axed if a'd ha' a leetle drap mwore, a'd zeng out, 'Noa, noa, I won't ha' a drap.'—'Do'e,' zaid they,—'do'e ha' a drap mwore.'—'Noa, I won't, not a drap,' a grunted. At last another tried un, and then th' owld bwoy cried out, 'Noa, I can't get a drap mwore down m';—drow't auver m'veace!'