Dec. 31 (the last night of 1857).—The dear old year is gone with all its Weben and Streben. Yet not gone either; for what I have suffered and enjoyed in it remains to me an everlasting possession while my soul's life remains. This time last year I was alone, as I am now, and dear George was at Vernon Hill. I was writing the introduction to "Mr. Gilfil's Love-Story." What a world of thoughts and feelings since then! My life has deepened unspeakably during the last year: I feel a greater capacity for moral and intellectual enjoyment, a more acute sense of my deficiencies in the past, a more solemn desire to be faithful to coming duties, than I remember at any former period of my life. And my happiness has deepened too; the blessedness of a perfect love and union grows daily. I have had some severe suffering this year from anxiety about my sister, and what will probably be a final separation from her—there has been no other real trouble. Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long, sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age. Our prospects are very bright too. I am writing my new novel. G. is full of his "Physiology of Common Life." He has just finished editing Johnston, for which he is to have 100 guineas, and we have both encouragement to think that our books just coming out, "Sea-side Studies" and "Scenes of Clerical Life," will be well received. So good-bye, dear 1857! May I be able to look back on 1858 with an equal consciousness of advancement in work and in heart.
SUMMARY.
MARCH, 1855, TO DECEMBER, 1857.
Return to England—Dover—Bayswater—East Sheen—Books read—Articles written—Letters to Miss Hennell—"Life of Goethe"—Froude's article on Spinoza—Article-writing—"Cumming"—8 Park Shot, Richmond—Letter to Charles Bray—Effect of article on Cumming—Letter to Miss Hennell—Reading on Physiology—Article on Heine—Review for Leader, etc.—Books read—Visit to Mrs. Clarke at Attleboro—Sale of "Life of Goethe"—"Shaving of Shagpat"—Spinoza's "Ethics," translation finished—The Saturday Review—Ruskin—Alison—Harriet Martineau—Women's earnings—Articles and reviews—Wishes not to be known as translator of the "Ethics"—Article on Young begun—Visit to Ilfracombe—Description—Zoophyte hunting—Finished articles on Young and Riehl—Naturalistic experience—Delightful walks—Rev. Mr. Tugwell—Devonshire lanes and springs—Tendency to scientific accuracy—Sunsets—Cocklewomen at Swansea—Letters to Miss Hennell and Mrs. Peter Taylor—Tenby—Zoology—Thoreau's "Walden"—Feeling strong in mind and body—Barbara Leigh Smith comes to Tenby—George Eliot anxious to begin her fiction-writing—Mr. E. F. S. Pigott—Return to Richmond—Mr. Lewes takes his boys to Hofwyl—George Eliot writes article on "Silly Novels by Lady Novelists"—"How I came to write fiction"—Correspondence between Mr. Lewes and Mr. John Blackwood about MS. of "Amos Barton"—"Mr. Gilfil's Love-Story" begun—Books read—Letter from John Blackwood to the author of "Amos Barton," sending copy of the January, 1857, number of the Magazine and fifty guineas—Reply—Blackwood's admiration—Albert Smith's appreciation—Letters to Blackwood—Name of George Eliot assumed—Dutch school in art—Artistic bent—Letter to Miss Hennell—Intolerance—Letter to John Blackwood on Mr. Swayne comparing writing to Goldsmith's—Letter to Miss Hennell on essay "Christianity and Infidelity"—Letter to Blackwood—Caterina and the dagger scene—Trip to Penzance and the Scilly Isles—Description of St. Mary's—Mr. Moyle, the surgeon—Social Life—Letter to Mrs. Bray, anxiety about sister—Letter to Miss Sara Hennell—"Life of Charlotte Brontë"—Letter to Isaac P. Evans—Mrs. Clarke's illness—Letter to Blackwood—Conclusions of stories—Jersey—Description of Gorey—Delightful walks—Reading Draper's "Physiology"—Miss Catlow and Dr. Thomson on wild-flowers—"Life of George Stephenson"—Letter to Miss Hennell—Life in Jersey—Liggins appears on the scene—"Janet's Repentance"—Series attributed to Bulwer—Thackeray thinks highly of it—Letter from Herbert Spencer about "Mr. Gilfil"—Letter from Archer Gurney—Lord Stanley thinks highly of the "Scenes"—Letter to Blackwood, with First Part of "Janet's Repentance"—Letter to Mrs. Bray—Richmond—Expression of face—Letter to Mrs. John Cash—Happiness in her life and hope in her work—Chilled by Blackwood's want of enthusiasm about "Janet"—Letter to John Blackwood on "Janet"—Letter to Miss Sarah Hennell—"Aurora Leigh"—Return to Richmond—Letter to John Blackwood on "Janet"—Letters to Miss Hennell—Rosa Bonheur—Thought not action—Mr. and Mrs. Call—Letter to John Blackwood—Haunted by new story—Letter to Charles Bray—"The Woman Question"—Close of "Clerical Scenes" series—"Adam Bede" begun—Receives £120 for first edition of "Scenes of Clerical Life"—Letter to Mrs. Bray—Unbelief in people's love—Letter to John Blackwood—Sheets of "Clerical Scenes"—Letter to Miss Hennell—Newspaper criticism—Letter to Charles Bray—"The Philosophy of Necessity"—Sympathy with individuals—Objection to Theism—Phrenology—Happiness the best result that can ever come out of science—Letters to Miss Hennell—Reading Riehl's "The Family"—Hunger for Knowledge—Buckle's "History of Civilization"—Autumn days at Richmond—Reading the "Agamemnon"—Harriett Martineau's "Sketch of the British Empire in India"—Macaulay's essays on Clive and Hastings—Major Blackwood calls and suspects identity of George Eliot—Reading the "Choephoræ"—"History of the Thirty Years' Peace," and Béranger—Thankfulness in reviewing experience of 1857.
APPENDIX.
As this volume is going through the press, I have to thank Mrs. John Cash of Coventry for the following valuable additional information in regard to the important subject of Miss Evans's change of religious belief in 1841-42, and for her further general recollections of the Coventry period of George Eliot's life: