But the colonists went farther and prescribed the death penalty for disobedience to parents, following the precepts of the Mosaic law.[490] Furthermore, they attempted to regulate courtship by statute, in a way which, however wholesome, would scarcely be relished by the young men and maidens of our generation. Thus the general court of Plymouth prohibits "any motion of marriage to any man's daughter or mayde servant" without having "first obtayned leaue" of the parents or master under penalty of fine and corporal punishment in the discretion of the bench. But appeal is allowed to the magistrate, when the master "through any sinister end or couetous desire," witholds his consent.[491] The courts were not wholly without business growing out of this legislation, as appears from illustrations collected by Mr. Goodwin. "In 1652 Jonathan Coventry was indicted for 'making a motion of marriage' to Katherine Bradbury, servant to Mr. Bourne, of Marshfield, without the latter's consent.[492] Coventry left the Colony before arrest.... In 1648 Thomas Dunham was ordered to abstain from visiting or sending to Martha Knott, of Sandwich, from October 4 till the first Tuesday of December, that the Court may better learn of his pretended contract, unless the Governor, on the clearing of things, give him leave. A romantic case was that of Governor Thomas Prence against Arthur Howland, Jr., nephew of the Pilgrim.[493] The tolerant course of the elder Arthur Howland toward the Quakers had earned Prence's hearty ill-will; and when, in 1660, he found that Arthur, Jr., had wooed his daughter Elizabeth, he had the swain before the General Court, where he was fined £5 for making love without her father's permission. The couple remained constant, for in 1667 the irate Governor once more brought up young Arthur, who was again fined £5 because he had 'disorderly and unrighteously endeavored to obtain the affections of Mistress Elizabeth Prence,' and was put under bond of £50 to 'refrain and desist.' But Prence, like Canute, was unable to control the forces of Nature. This action was in July; but before the next spring the imperious Governor seemed to have been forced to capitulate, for Arthur and Elizabeth were united."[494] On the other hand, the right of a lover to appeal to the magistrate, in case his "motion" were hindered through "sinister end or couetous desire," was occasionally of practical value. In 1646, for instance, Richard Taylor complained to the general court of Plymouth that he was prevented from marrying Ruth Wheildon by her father Gabriel; but when before the court Gabriel yielded and promised no longer to oppose the marriage.[495] The records show that parents might be held accountable for "miscarriages" resulting from unreasonable opposition.[496]
To the close of the colonial era a law of Connecticut provided that "if any Man shall directly or indirectly endeavour to draw away the affections of any Maid ... , on pretence of Marriage, before he hath obtained Liberty and Allowance" from her parent, governor, or guardian, should there be any, "he shall forfeit the sum of Five Pounds to the Party grieved; double that amount for the second offence; and for a third transgression suffer imprisonment, besides paying the costs of prosecution."[497]
An elaborate statute of New Haven, for the regulation of proposals, provides "that whosoever within this jurisdiction shall attempt, or endeavor to inveagle, or draw the affections of any maide, or maide-servant, whether daughter, kinswoman, or in other relation, for himself, or for any other person, without the consent of father, master, governor, or such other, who hath the present interest, or charge, or (in absence of such) of the nearest magistrate, whether it be by speech, writing, message, company-keeping, unnecessary familiarity, disorderly night meetings, sinful dalliance, gifts, or any other way, directly or indirectly, every such person (besides all damages which the parent, governor, or person intrusted or interested, may sustain by such unlawful proceedings) shall pay to the plantation forty shillings for the first offence; and for the second offence towards the same party four pounds; and for the third offence he shal be further fined, imprisoned, or corporally punished, as the plantation court, or court of magistrates considering all circumstances, shal determine."[498]
The foregoing act was probably suggested by the Massachusetts law of 1647, which is likewise here presented. It is declared that, "whereas God hath committed the care and power into the hands of parents for the disposing their Children in Marriage, so that it is against rule, to seek to draw away the affections of young maidens under pretence of purpose of marriage, before their parents have given way and allowance in that respect; and whereas it is common practise in divers places for young men irregularly and disorderly to watch all advantages for their evil purposes, to insinuate into the affections of young Maidens by coming to them in places and seasons unknown to their parents for such ends, whereby much evil hath grown amongst us, to the dishonour of God and damage of parties; for prevention whereof for time to come. It is further Ordered, that whatsoever person from henceforth shall endeavour, directly or indirectly, to draw away the affection of any mayd in this jurisdiction, under pretence of marriage, before he hath obtained liberty and allowance from her parents or Governors or in absence of such of the nearest magistrate, he shall forfeit for the first offence five pounds, for the second towards the partie ten pounds, and be bound to forbeare any further attempt and proceedings in that unlawful designe, without or against the allowance aforesayd. And for the third offence upon information or complaint by such parents or Governors to any Magistrate, giving bond to prosecute the party, he shall be committed in prison, and upon hearing and conviction by the next court, shal be adjudged to continue in prison, untill the Court of Assistants shall see cause to release him."[499]
The courts were not without employment under this statute. In 1658 Paul Wilson appeared before the county court of Middlesex, sitting in Charlestown, "to answer the complaint of Deacon Upham for violent soliciting his daughter against his will." Whereupon the tribunal "admonished Wilson of his evil behavior towards the said Upham and his daughter Priscilla, and ordered him to give bond of ten pounds for his regular behavior towards the said parties." Accordingly the culprit gave bond "yt he will no more frequent the company of Priscilla Upham, nor by no means whether direct or indirect, make any more addresses vnto her without her fathers leave first orderly had & obteined."[500] For a similar offense, in 1672, the county court of Suffolk fined Benjamin Scott five pounds.[501] Two years later, before the same tribunal, Thomas Irons was presented "for procuring Richard Barnum to publish a marriage" between himself and Mary Arnold without her father's leave;[502] while the next February, as we learn from the record, John Lorin stood "convict on his own confession of making love to Mary Willis without her parents consent and after being forwarned by them, £5."[503]
Although parents might be prosecuted for "unreasonably denying any child timely or convenient marriage,"[504] it is evident that lovers had to be very circumspect in old colonial days. In a community where power to dispose of a son or daughter in wedlock was believed to be the gift of heaven, it is not strange that "allowance" was sometimes hard to gain. Praising the chaste reserve of the gentle "old maid" of Boston whom he had learned to admire, John Dunton thus expresses the dominant view: "I am sure this is most agreeable to the Virgin modesty, which should make Marriage an act" rather of "obedience" than "choice." "And they that think their Friends too slowpaced in the matter give certain proof that lust is the sole motive."[505] Nor was the average New England house-father at all likely to allow sentiment to get the better of prudence in seeking a match for his child. He was more apt to be governed by a spirit of cold calculation which never for an instant lost sight of the "main chance." Judge Sewall, for example, can hardly be called "slowpaced" in providing his daughters with wooers. He superintends the whole "business" of love-making with never-flagging zeal. Poor, timid daughter Betty is fairly worried into matrimony, perhaps as the only sure way of escaping her father's nagging. What a procession of "captains" and "persons of worth" he parades before the reluctant girl before he succeeds in gaining his will! The first who "wished to speak with her" is Captain Tuthill, who appears as a suitor when she is but seventeen years of age. After the judge had made careful and satisfactory inquiry as to the captain's estate—which he finds valued at £600 or £700—and the young man "in good Business, and like to be in better;"[506] and after having his daughter read to him about the courtship of Adam and Eve "as a soothing and alluring preparation for the thought of matrimony,"[507] the lover is invited to call. Of this visit and its surprising result Sewall thus writes in his Diary: "At night Capt. Tuthill comes to speak with Betty, who hid her self all alone in the coach for several hours till he was gon, so that we sought at several houses, till at last came in of her self, and look'd very wild."[508] A number of others in rapid succession have little better luck with the coy maiden. The next fall, however, on returning from a journey to Rhode Island, the judge finds his "family in health, only disturb'd at Betty's denying Mr. Hirst." A month later he sadly records that he supposes even this suitor has "taken his final leave."[509] Nevertheless two days after, on October 26, 1699, he addresses Betty at "Brantry," where she had gone on a visit, the following characteristic letter:
"Mr. Hirst waits upon you once more to see if you can bid him welcome. It ought to be seriously considered, that your drawing back from him after all that has passed between you, will be to your Prejudice; and will tend to discourage persons of worth from making their Court to you. And you had need well to consider whether you are able to bear his final Leaving of you, howsoever it may seem gratefull to you at present. When persons come toward us, we are apt to look upon their Undesirable Circumstances mostly; and therefore to shun them. But when persons retire from us for good and all, we are in danger of looking only on that which is desirable in them to our wofull Disquiet. Whereas 'tis the property of a good Balance to turn where the most weight is, though there be some also in the other Scale. I do not see but that the Match is well liked by judicious persons, and such as are your Cordial Friends, and mine also.
"Yet notwithstanding, if you find in yourself an i[=m]ovable, incurable Aversion from him, and ca[=n]ot love, and honour, and obey him, I shall say no more, nor give you any further trouble in this matter. It had better be off than on. So praying God to pardon us, and pity our Undeserving, and to direct and strengthen and settle you in making a right Judgment, and giving a right Answer, I take leave, who am, dear child, your loving father. Your mother remembers to you."[510]