Mrs. Sul. A trifle! pray, sir, let's have it.
Arch. I 'm ashamed to offer you a trifle, madam; but since you command me— [221]
[Sings to the tune of Sir Simon the King]
A trifling song you shall hear,
Begun with a trifle and ended:
All trifling people draw near,
And I shall be nobly attended.
Were it not for trifles, a few,
That lately have come into play;
The men would want something to do,
And the women want something to say.
What makes men trifle in dressing? [235] Because the ladies (they know)
Admire, by often possessing,
That eminent trifle, a beau.
When the lover his moments has trifled,
The trifle of trifles to gain:
No sooner the virgin is rifled,
But a trifle shall part 'em again.
What mortal man would be able
At White's half an hour to sit?
Or who could bear a tea-table, [240] Without talking of trifles for wit?
The court is from trifles secure,
Gold keys are no trifles, we see:
White rods are no trifles, I 'm sure,
Whatever their bearers may be.
But if you will go to the place,
Where trifles abundantly breed,
The levee will show you His Grace
Makes promises trifles indeed.
A coach with six footmen behind, [250] I count neither trifle nor sin:
But, ye gods! how oft do we find
A scandalous trifle within.
A flask of champagne, people think it
A trifle, or something as bad:
But if you 'll contrive how to drink it;
You 'll find it no trifle, egad!
A parson's a trifle at sea,
A widow's a trifle in sorrow:
A peace is a trifle to-day, [260] Who knows what may happen to-morrow!
A black coat a trifle may cloke,
Or to hide it, the red may endeavour:
But if once the army is broke,
We shall have more trifles than ever.
The stage is a trifle, they say,
The reason, pray carry along,
Because at every new play,
The house they with trifles so throng.
But with people's malice to trifle, [270] And to set us all on a foot:
The author of this is a trifle,
And his song is a trifle to boot.
Mrs. Sul. Very well, sir, we 're obliged to you.— Something for a pair of gloves. [Offering him money.
Arch. I humbly beg leave to be excused: my master, madam, pays me; nor dare I take money from any other hand, without injuring his honour, and disobeying his commands. [Exit Archer and Scrub.
Dor. This is surprising! Did you ever see so pretty a well-bred fellow? [281]
Mrs. Sul. The devil take him for wearing that livery!
Dor. I fancy, sister, he may be some gentleman, a friend of my lord's, that his lordship has pitched upon for his courage, fidelity, and discretion, to bear him company in this dress, and who ten to one was his second too.
Mrs. Sul. It is so, it must be so, and it shall be so!— for I like him.