Sir H. A-la-mode de Paris again.
Vizard. Nothing like an oath in the city.
Colonel S. That's a mistake; for my major swore a hundred and fifty last night to a merchant's wife in her bed-chamber.
Sir H. Pshaw! this is trifling; tell me news, gentlemen. What lord has lately broke his fortune at the clubs, or his heart at Newmarket, for the loss of a race? What wife has been lately suing in Doctor's-Commons for alimony: or what daughter run away with her father's valet? What beau gave the noblest ball at Bath, or had the gayest equipage in town? I want news, gentlemen.
Colonel S. 'Faith, sir, these are no news at all.
Vizard. But, pray, Sir Harry, tell us some news of your travels.
Sir H. With all my heart.—You must know, then, I went over to Amsterdam in a Dutch ship. I went from thence to Landen, where I was heartily drubbed in battle, with the butt end of a Swiss musket. I thence went to Paris, where I had half a dozen intrigues, bought half a dozen new suits, fought a couple of duels, and here I am again in statu quo.
Vizard. But we heard that you designed to make the tour of Italy: what brought you back so soon?
Sir H. That which brought you into the world, and may perhaps carry you out of it;—a woman.
Colonel S. What! quit the pleasures of travel for a woman?