“Mr George Gillespie being moderator of the Assembly held at Edinburgh, July 12th, 1648, was all the time thereof, as also half a year before, in a greater weakness of body than ordinary; that being now come to a height, which long before had been gathering. He had a great hoasting and sweating, which in the time of the General Assembly began to grow worse; but being extraordinarily (so I may say) upheld, was not so sensible as when the Assembly dissolved it appeared to be. On occasion whereof, the next Wednesday after the rising of the Assembly, he went with his wife over to Kirkcaldy, there intending to tarry for a space, till it should please the Lord, by the use of means, to restore him to some more health to come over again. But when he was come there, his weakness and disease grew daily more and more, so that no application of any strength durst be used towards him. It came to that, he kept his chamber still to his death, wearing and wasting hoasting, and sweating. Ten days before his death his sweating went away, and his hoasting lessened, yet his weakness still encreased, and his flux still continued. On Wednesday morning, which day he began to keep his bed, his pain began to be very violent, his breath more obstructed, his heart oppressed; and that growing all the next night to a very great height, in the midst of the night there were letters written to his brother, and Mr Rutherford, and Mr John Row, his death approaching fast. On Friday all day, and Thursday all night, he was at some ease. Friday at night, till Saturday in the afternoon, in great violence, the greatness of pain causing want of sleep. Mr Rutherford and Lord Craigihall came to visit him. Thus much for his body. Now I'll speak a little of what concerns his soul, and the exercise of his mind all the while.
Monday, December 11, 1648, came my Lords Argyle, Cassils, Elcho, and Warriston to visit him. He did faithfully declare his mind to them, as public men, in that point whereof he hath left a testimony to the view of the world, as afterwards; and the speaking was very burdensome, yet he spared not very freely to fasten their duty upon them. The exercise of his mind all the time of his sickness was vary sad and constant, without comfortable manifestations, and sensible presence for the time, yet he continued in a constant faith of adherence, which ended in an adhering assurance, his grips growing still the stronger.
“One day, a fortnight before his death, he had leaned down on a little bed, and taking a fit of faintness, and his mind being heavily exercised, and lifting up his eyes, this expression fell with great [pg xxxix] weight from his mouth, ‘O my dear Lord, forsake me not forever!’ His weariness of this life was very great, and his longing to be relieved, and to be where the veil would be taken away.
“Tuesday, December 14, (1648) he was in heavy sickness, and three pastors came in the afternoon to visit him, of whom one said to him, ‘The Lord hath made you faithful in all he hath employed you in, and it's likely we be put to the trial; therefore what encouragement give you us thereanent!’ Whereto he answered in few words, ‘I have gotten more by the Lord's immediate assistance than ever I had by study, in the disputes I had in the Assembly of Divines in England; therefore let never man distrust God for assistance that cast themselves on him, and follow his calling. For my own part, the time that I have had in the exercise of the ministry is but a moment.’ To which sentence another pastor answered, ‘But your moment hath exceeded the gray heads of others! This I may speak without flattery.’ To which he answered disclaiming it with a ‘no;’ for he desired still to have Christ exalted, as he said at the same time, and another. And at other times, when any such things were spoken to him, ‘What are all my righteousnesses but rotten rags? All that I have done cannot abide the touchstone of his justice. They are all but abominations, and as an unclean thing, when they are reckoned between my God and me. Christ is all things, and I am nothing!’ The other pastor when the rest were out, asked, ‘Whether he was enjoying the comforts of God's presence, or if they were for a time suspended! He answered, Indeed they were suspended.’ Then within a little while he said, ‘Comforts! aye comforts!’ meaning, that they were not easily attained. His wife said, ‘What reck'd the comfort if believing is not suspended!’ He said, ‘No.’ Speaking farther to that his condition, he said, ‘Although that I should never see any more light of comfort than I do see, yet I shall adhere, and do believe that He is mine, and I am his!’
“The next morrow being Friday, he not being able to write, did dictate out the rest of a paper, which he had been before writing himself, and did subscribe it before two witnesses, who also did subscribe; wherein he gave faithful and clear testimony to the work and cause of God, and against the enemies thereof, to stop the mouths of calumniators and to confirm his children.
“In all his discourses this was mixed as one thing, that he longed for the time of relief, and rejoiced because it was so near. His breath being very short, he said, ‘Where the hallelujahs are sung to the Lamb, there is no shortness of breath!’ And being in very great pain all the Friday night, his mother said in the morning, ‘In all appearance you will not have another night.’ To which he said, ‘Think you that your word will hold good?’ She said, ‘I fear it will hold over good.’ He said, ‘Not over good.’ That day he blessed his children and some others, (Mr Patrick Simson, the writer of this) and said, ‘God bless you: and as you carry the name of your grandfather, so God grant you his graces.’ That afternoon, being Saturday, came Mr Samuel Rutherford, who, among other things, said, ‘The day, I hope, is dawning, and breaking in your soul, that shall never, have an end.’ He said, ‘It is not broken yet; but though I walk in darkness and see no light, yet I will trust in the name of the Lord and stay upon my God!’ Mr Samuel said, ‘Would not Christ be a welcome guest to you?’ He answered, ‘Welcome! the welcomest guest that ever I saw.’ He said further, ‘Doth not your soul love Christ above all things?’ He answered, ‘I love him heartily: who ever knew any thing of him but would love him!’
“Mr James Wilson going to pray, asked ‘What petitions he would have him to put up for him?’ He said, ‘For more of himself, and strength to carry me through the dark valley.’
“Saturday night he became weaker, and inclined to drowsiness and sleeping, and was discerned in his drowsiness a little to rave; yet being till the last half hour in his full and perfect senses, and having taken a little jelly and drink, about half an hour before his death he spake as sensibly betwixt as ever, and blessed some persons that morning with very spiritual and heavenly expressions. About seven or eight of the clock his drowsiness encreased, and he was overheard in it speaking (after he had spoken more imperfectly some words before) those words, ‘Glory! Glory! a seeing of God! a seeing of God! I hope it shall be for his glory!’ After he had taken a little refreshment of jelly, and a little drink through a reed, he said that the giving him these things made him drowsy; and a little afterwards, ‘There is a great drowsiness on me, I know not how it comes.’
“His wife seeing the time draw near, spake to him and said, ‘The time of your relief is now [pg xl] near, and hard at hand.’ He answered, ‘I long for that time. O! happy they that are there.’ This was the last word he was heard sensibly to speak. Mr Frederick Carmichael being there, they went to prayer, expecting death so suddenly. In the midst of prayer he left his rattling[9] and the pangs and fetches of death begin thence, his senses went away. Whereupon they rose from prayer, and beheld till, in a very gentle manner, the pins of his tabernacle were loosed.
“He said (supra) ‘Say not over good,’ because he thought she wronged him so far in wishing the contrary of what he longed for.